Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Ambivalence (2)

This hurt me a lot so good luck!
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- Memory -

Its a regular Friday night, by regular I mean as regular as an ex criminal and government agent having dinner together can be. Its my turn to cook tonight so I decide to make Natasha pasta and salad. "Are you sure this how you do it" I can feel my... girlfriend? I dont know we haven't talked about it anyways, Natasha looking over my shoulder into the pot. I turn around to push her away from me so that I can focus. "Yes. Now go set the table this is almost done" I say to her jokingly as i move her away and she nods giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. Once Im done cooking I bring the food to the table and see her patiently waiting. "This smells amazing, love" I freeze and I look to her with my eyebrow raised. She starts to stammer and obviously looks nervous. "Im sorry. I didn't mean- I mean I did mean but I didn't mean to say it to you. I mean- Ugh im just gonna shut up before I embarrass myself even more." She says in one breath obviously panicking. Seeing her nervous makes me laugh and sends butterflies to my stomach. "What? Why are you laughing at me" She asks defensively, I shake my head and smile. "Nothing. Its just... love? Really?" I say while taking a bite and looking at her. She tries to act tough but I know her, shes melting.  "Ok can we just change the topic?" She asks looking to me. "Of course! Anything you want... love" I say the final word sweetly. I try my best to make it sound endearing and not like Im making fun of her. Im not used to this, caring about anyone other than myself. Usually Id laugh at anyone who attempted to call me love or even insinuate that they loved me but when it comes to her, for some reason Im just happy to know she could ever even care about me like that. After she hears my words she smiles wide and looks me in the eyes. "I really do. I love you Y/n."

- End of Memory -

I snap out of my head as I hear footsteps outside my cell. I look up at the door and watch it slowly open to Fury standing there. "Are you ready to talk now." He says plainly. I don't reply instead I look away from him and pretend I don't hear or see him. "You know Y/n since you came here you have really been a pain in my ass." I keep pretending he doesn't exist. "Guard!" He shouts and I know whats coming. As he walks out of the room two medium sized men come in and immediately start beating me. Ive been here for two months and have gotten so used to this treatment it doesn't even faze me anymore. Ive learned to just disassociate in these moments but this time it doesn't work. As Im getting kicked in  the stomach and punched in the face I look up and see her. Shes just standing there, watching me get beaten and she does nothing. After a while she finally speaks "Enough." She says more so for herself than for me. Shes probably here to interrogate me and just wants to get this over with. The two guards leave. "Who did you sell the information to Y/n? and what do they have planned?" I havent seen Natasha since she turned me in and this is the first thing she says to me? Im laying on the floor spitting up blood and thats all she cares about. I start chuckling softly as I try to sit up. "Why are you laughing?" I look up at her seeing her standing before me with so much power and I  take a moment to answer her. "Tell me, when you said you loved me was it true? or was that just one of your tactics to make me trust you." For a moment shes still, not a single muscle in her body moved and and no words came out of her mouth. It almost seemed as if that question got to her. Just as quickly as the thought brushed through my head her reply over came any of my doubt. "Don't take it personal. Its what I do." My heart shatters, it may have been two months since she turned me in but I always thought that maybe... maybe she was just hurt and thought I betrayed her... maybe it wasn't all a lie... maybe she did love me or still loved me. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. "I told you... I didnt, I didnt sell the information. No one has plans. I lied." She laughed a little as if this was a joke "If that was true why on earth would you lie about it then?" and without skipping a beat I replied "Because I wanted to see if you still saw me that way, as the villain, a criminal... a killer. I wanted to know if you could just... trust me but you didn't so I lied to make you mad. I never thought that you could've done this to me though." She rolls her eyes at me and it seems like she didn't listen to a word I said "Listen, I didn't do anything to you. You did this to yourself. You've taken thousands of innocent lives. So if I see you as a villain, or a criminal thats because you are and thats all you'll ever be to me." I cant take it anymore. The pain is too much Id rather be beaten than hear her any longer. I hate her so much, but I love her so much and I hate that she made me love her. Ugh I cant take it anymore. I try to stand up and pretend to grab her knowing what'll happen if I do. Almost immediately she dodges me and two guards come in and start beating me yet again.

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Also what do you think of this so far? Id love to hear your thoughts❤️

For part 3 would you guys want full evil villain
y/n or broken villain y/n

School finally chilled out but I am not promising constant updates I will try my best tho!