Celestial | Sirius Black Love Story

Shit, shat, shot.

I  stood in the bathroom for a moment, a minute, an hour?

I wasn't sure. I couldn't leave the room and just go to bed with Septima there, I'd have to go down to the common room, sleep on a couch and get up early before anyone else came down in the morning.

It was quiet outside the bathroom, and I stood, hoping for someone to start talking or laughing so I could slip away less noticeably, but no such thing came to my aid. I opened the bathroom door to see everyone looking at me. Had they all seen? Or had Septima told them?

"I forgot something downstairs," I said awkwardly, "In the common room." I left.

The common room was, thankfully, deserted, so I sat down in the armchair in front of the fire hoping the heat would help me pass out faster.

Why had I done that? I mean, I had thought of it, but I wasn't ever actually going to do it. As I sat there in front of the fire, I just felt desperately, blatantly alone. I wanted to scream as loud as I could to just try to loosen up the overwhelming loneliness that had tied a knot in my chest, and at the same time I wished I could remain alone forever.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up with a jolt when someone brushed their hand against my face.

"James?" I asked. His spectacled face grinned at me through my sore, dry eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, groggily.

"I just came back from our monthly dances with wolves," He answered, "The real question is why you are here, fast asleep in the common room in your nighties."

I groaned. "Can I tell you about it in the morning?" He nodded. 

"Great. How was the night, how's Remus?" I asked.

"Remus is fine, Peter and Sirius just helped him up to bed, it as quite a calm night but he got a bit scratched up."

"Did you go by Pomfrey's or should I help patch him up?"

"Nah, it was only shallow stuff, so Sirius will just rub him in with a bit of ointment now. You gonna go up to bed now or are you just going to sleep here like some hobo?"

I groaned again. "I don't want to talk about it, but I can't go up to bed." 

"No, deary, that's not  how it works. You'll sleep terribly with a heavy heart, so why don't you push over to the side of the armchair and let me in beside you and you tell me all about it then we see what we can do."

I looked up at him, and saw that though he was tired he looked determied not to let this pass. I sighed, cursing him for being such a great friend and did as he said.

He crept in beside me, his arm around me so we were both more comfortable.

Then he grabbed my hand and softly slapped it against my own face with a sense of importance. "Now. Tell Jamesy all about it."

I looked at him again, took a deep breath, then groaned and buried my face in his chest.

"It's just too embarrassing, I don't think I am physcially able to tell you."

He kept slapping my hand gently on my cheek.

Letting a gutteral sound escape my throat and shifting so that I was facing away from him, it might be easier to tell him if I'm not looking at him.

Another deep breath. "I kissed Septima."

"You kissed Septima."

"I kissed Septima, and for a moment it felt like she was ok with it but then she pushed me away and said that I was wrong and disgusting," I felt myself getting overly emotional, so I closed with, "So I decided I couldn't sleep there tonight or any night so I guess I'm just going to have to move away and change my name and just cease to exist."