phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 34: lucy

[in my time

memories are crowded]

Hana's POV

I smile a little and sit back on Felix's bed, avoiding eye contact with Hyunjin who is standing near the doorway.

"Hey," I say awkwardly. I hope my face isn't puffy because he will definitely know I was crying in here.

"You look tired. You okay?" Hyunjin tells me and I nod, lying straight to his face. "Did you bring anything important back?" I'm glad he is trying to make conversation.

"Just a rubber ducky for Hyunho," I say which makes Hyunjin laugh a little. His little laugh makes my heart jump. "How were the newcomers? Are they nice?" I say, remembering that he was with Felix, Jeongin, and Wonyoung while bringing them back.

"They're nice. They checked on Felix after he intentionally rammed himself into a bunch of cars," Hyunjin chuckles. I laugh with him. I miss this. I miss him so much. "They also have a friend who is also named Jisung so that is going to be confusing," Hyunjin says and I nod, smiling as we speak. "No one gave you trouble out there right?"

I hear the concern in his tone, making me second guess what Wonyoung was telling me. He seems to still care about me.

"We encountered some bandits," I mention. Hyunjin's eyes grow wide in fear. "Wonpil got hurt but at least he's getting treatment now. They looked to be from a larger group. They had matching tattoos," I explain. Hyunjin purses his lips as if he knows who I am talking about.

"They didn't hurt you, right?" Hyunjin asks and I blush a little, shaking my head. He still has that effect on me.

I stare at the ground to avoid Hyunjin's gaze but can feel his eyes on me. Hyunjin slowly sits on the bed with me but a few inches away to avoid making me uncomfortable. A rush of emotions starts flooding back to me as he sits there.

*flashback*

"Mommy, who is this guy?" Hyunho asks, pulling out a polaroid picture from a box he found in the cabinets of our trailer cabin. I turn around from the kitchen counter to see him holding up a picture of Felix. It was the picture I took of him when we first met.

I smile softly as I stare at the picture in Hyunho's hands and slowly kneel down to eye level with him.

"He's... my best friend," I smile and stare at the picture longer as tears fill my eyes. I blink them away, thinking about Felix and all of them really makes me miss them a lot. Hyunho places the picture on the ground gently and searches again in the box.

He presents me with a new photo like it is show but I tell. This time it is a regular photo, not a polaroid. I look up to see what he is holding and see Chan. My eyes are glued to the picture. I haven't seen this face in ages. I bite my lip to stop my tears and smile a little.

This was before everything happened. I remember this exact day. Chan and I were shopping with Sana and Chan was... he was asking me how to tell her about his feelings. He was going to confess soon until...

"Mommy?" Hyunho snaps me back into reality and I blink away the tears I didn't know were filling my eyes again.

"Uh, this is Channie," I smile, hiding my pain. Hyunho tilts his head and looks back at me. "He was... was like my brother."

"Brother?" Hyunho questions, not knowing what siblings are. I smile and nod.

"Someone I felt like I knew all my life and trust a lot," I explain. I look over at the box full of photos again and remember Sana. "Can you pass the box over here, baby?"