phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 14: moonlight

a/n

hey guyzzz
i havent updated in a while because my mental health is slowly depleting and my dog just passed away unexpectedly so i have been unable to focus much or feel motivation to work.  this month has rlly been a tough month for me and i wish it wasnt cuz its like holiday season but... what else could go wrong in 2020? anyway im sorry if i have left u guys waiting. i cant make promises on posting consistently cuz school is getting pretty stressful and im already so depressed and stuff. i hope u guys are enjoy this chapter tho!!

[silence, silence,

the moment i see you]

It was like God destined for us to be together. The storm outside disappeared and the skies were cleared of clouds. Hyunjin took me up to the rooftop so we could talk more. It was our favorite thing to do together. Stargaze.

He sets down a blanket and lays on his back. He closes his eyes with a small smile on his face as he talks about how much he misses looking at the night sky with me. I pause and admire his figure lying down while the moon shines on him. I didn't realize how long I was staring until Hyunjin hummed and broke the silence. I blink and look away from him and up at the sky.

"I caught you staring," Hyunjin sings, making me turn red.

Hyunjin giggles softly and pulls me down gently, taking my wrist and bringing me to the ground. I lay my head on his chest and look up at his glowing face.

"Stay in my arms," Hyunjin wraps his arms around my waist as I listen to his heart beat relatively fast. I could not tell if it was the euphoria we were both feeling together or if it was the pain we want to avoid once I leave him. "I only have you for a limited time. We must savor every minute."

I laugh at how cute he is and peck his neck. I put my head back on his chest and look up at the stars. I grow sad the more I gaze.

"I looked at the sky every night before bed," I speak in a small voice. "Every time I did, I always thought about how we were both looking at the same sky and hoped we would be together again like this," I confess, playing with my hands nervously just by thinking about those nights of loneliness. Hyunjin frowns and grabs my hands, putting them in his. "When SM told me District 9 was overrun with zombies, I looked at the sky differently after. I did not know if you were still staring up at the stars with me anymore," I squeeze Hyunjin's hand and he kisses my hands.

"I felt the same when they said you didn't make it," I hear Hyunjin sniffle and sit up to see his face. He leans on his elbows and looks up at me.

I notice his watery eyes and smile a little. I guess we both had a hard time without each other for the past three years. I hold his face in my hands and take in every second I stare at him. I read his mind and could almost imagine how much harder it must have been for him.

We were both victims of lies and betrayal. I wonder if we did anything to deserve it. This is not a type of right person, wrong time, type of thing. It was like a right person, wrong world. I let go of Hyunjin's face and lay beside him while holding his hand.

"Do you think if this apocalypse didn't happen, we would ever meet?" I ask a question that leaves Hyunjin puzzled for a second. Hyunjin turns his head to look at me.

"No," Hyunjin says honestly. "This world took some of our friends, some of our family, some innocent lives, but somehow we found each other. Maybe it is fate, maybe it is a glitch in the system or something," Hyunjin jokes and smiles. I gaze at him and laugh too.

Looking at Hyunjin's face, I don't know if I would ask to go back to everything being normal. Is it bad to be somewhat grateful for a world like this?

"I'm glad I met you, Hwang Hyunjin," I say as I stare at his beautiful eyes. He smiles and moves closer to me.

"Me too, Hwang Hana," Hyunjin teases me and kisses my forehead. I snuggle up beside him and he spoons me.

"Hwang?" I ask him.

"You're my wife, right?" Hyunjin smirks. I blush and close my eyes.

I debate on if I should ask about Lucy. It's been in the back of my mind. I want to know what happened to him and her over the past three years. I want to know what her first words were and what it was like to see her first walk. Maybe I should just save questions like those for Yeji and Young K. When I heard Lucy call Hyunjin, Uncle, it clicked that Yeji and Young K were the ones raising her. When are they going to tell her the truth? Should I just forget she's my daughter? I don't know if I can. I missed everything. I missed every moment with my first child. I sigh and try to suppress my thoughts for another day.

"Yah! I don't care if you two are having a moment up here, but you can't just sneak in here without saying hi to your older sister!" I hear a high-pitched voice.

My eyes widen and I stand up as quickly as possible and see Sana standing at the door of the stairwell. Hyunjin stands up as well and watches me run over to my sister and squeeze her in my arms. I close my eyes and hug her tight. Sana smiles widely and tears up a little.

"I can't believe you're really here!" Sana exclaims while holding me in her arms. "I thought Felix was playing a mean prank on me!" I laugh loudly and let go of our hug to see Jeongin standing at the top of the stairs with his hands covering his face. I tilt my head in confusion.

"Jeongin, why are you covering your eyes?" Hyunjin asks while standing behind me.

"I can open them now?" Jeongin asks. I giggle at how adorable he is.

"Yes," Sana says awkwardly. Jeongin slowly uncovers his face and he immediately lets out a sigh of relief when he sees me and Hyunjin

"Felix and Sana told me to close my eyes in case you two were-" Before Jeongin could finish his sentence, Sana covered his mouth. I realized what he was about to say and looked up at Hyunjin who's eyes looked down at mine. My ears turn red and try to change the subject.

"I missed you so much, Jeongin!" I hug him and try to pretend that didn't happen.

After regrouping with Sana and Jeongin, we head downstairs to the floor, Hyunjin's apartment is on. Everyone else is already asleep so Sana and Jeongin leave to return to their homes.

"You two, be good!" Sana eyes us as she enters the elevator with Jeongin.

Hyunjin and I glance at each other awkwardly and give her a thumbs up. She smiles and waves goodbye as well as Jeongin. Once the doors close, we both stand next to each other awkwardly in the hallway. I look up at Hyunjin slowly, hoping that our encounter with Sana and Jeongin didn't make anything awkward. Hyunjin smirks when he notices how flustered I am and steps closer, making me feel a little dizzy.

"So do you wanna-" Hyunjin eyes me with a lustful look as he reaches for my hand. I cover his mouth, flustered by his sudden offer. He frowns once I release my hand from his mouth but then smirks. "I'm just kidding."

"No, I want to," I bluntly said, which confuses Hyunjin. "I just know that there is someone on this floor who has super senses and can definitely hear our conversation right now, so we should finish in your bedroom," I bite my lip.

"Babe, he's going to hear us even if we're in my room," Hyunjin winks and pulls me inside.