I can't fall in love || D.M.

•chapter 41•

~pain~

*tw*

I've been very carefully the past few days, I hate seeing Luke mad at me. He would try to show Draco I was his by kissing me in front of him and squeezing my thigh whenever I spoke to him.

He's protective but I love that about him he makes me feel safe.

*last day of half term*

"Has everyone got everything?" Pansy said as we were all bringing our trunks down the stairs.

Luke, like the gentleman he is brought my trunk down for me. I thanked him and went around the house muttering cleaning spells on each room. I had to make sure it was spotless for when my grandmother comes back.

We all arrived at the train station and boarded it. Blaise, Alex, Draco, Luke day on one side and me, pansy and rose sat on the other.

Draco has just got in from messing around with a random Hufflepuff in our year, who was also coming back from a trip over half term. I just ignored it, it's classic Draco.

I lent my head on pansy shoulder and watched like as he looked out of the window. He's so handsome I thought to myself.

I noticed that Draco was staring at me so I looked at him, making eye contact but he didn't look away.

Luke abruptly got up, making me look at him, he tilted his head towards the door
indicating for me to follow him.

I followed him to the bathroom and he locked the door and used a spell to silence the room.

I know where this is going...

I looked at him and tilted my head as I did he slapped me across the face, making my head snap to the side. The stinging sensation made my eyes water but I didn't cry. I'm used to it.

I slowly look back at him and he grabbed my neck.

"What the fuck was that?" He growled through clenched teeth.

"W-what?" I asked slightly confused.

"You were flirting with him, why the fuck were you staring at each other like that!" He raised his voice making me flinch. His blue eyes grew darker like they always do when he gets.. aggressive with me.

"I-I'm sorry I felt him looking at me so I looked at him. I didn't mean-" he cut me off by slamming his lips into mine.

He sat me in the sink our lips still connected and lifted my shirt making me shiver at the feeling of his cold hands on my warm skin.

He didn't give me time to understand what was going on before I heard him take off his belt. Shit.

He turned me around so I was now bent over the sink. He took his belt in one hand and folded it.

"Count" he demanded. I already knew what to do.

He whipped me on my tender skin, definitely leaving a mark. "One" I said struggling to take the pain.

"That's for looking at him" he growled, whipping my again.

"Two" I said as I felt tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.

"That's for being a slut"

He had continued like this until I felt numb. Saying it Hurt was an understatement.

"Now sit up" he ordered. "Stay here I'll be back"

He left me sat on the sink while he walked out. Where the fuck is he going?

He came back with a girl. I know this girl, it's the ravenclaw that was in dracos room, the one he cheated on me with.

He pushed her up the wall and kissed her, I just sat there watching them.

After a while she got on her knees and sucked him off. "We're done here" he snapped and with that she left.

I couldn't believe what I just saw, does that count as him cheating on me?

He cheated on me, In front of me?

"What the fuck-" I was cut off by another slap across my other cheek.

"Don't. Fucking. speak" he seethed. "Now we're even"

I looked at Draco I didn't fucking suck him off In front of Luke.

I didn't speak, I was scared.

"Now be a good little slut" he said as he moved my underwear to the side.

He pulled me closer to him, I was now on the edge of the sink with my legs wrapped around him.

He pulled his length out and stroked the top against my entrance. I couldn't help but moan.

Then he thrusted himself into me as hard and as fast as he could making me wince in pain and pleasure.

I hate myself for this, I felt used and dirty. But I deserve it right? I wish I never looked at Draco, that was stupid I know what Luke is like.

After a while we both finished and sorted our selves out so we looked half decent.

I looked up at him as he held my chin.

"You know I love you right?" He asked and I nodded.

"I- love you too" i chocked out, it was hard for me to say I loved someone. But I must love him right? Because I stay with him even when he causes me such pain. As I said before love is pain.

Some people show they love people by hurting them. I'm just always the one who gets hurt.

"I don't want anyone to have you how I have you understand?" He asked.

I nodded "use your words" he growled.

"Y-Yes, I understand" I stuttered.

"Good girl"

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A/n: hey loves <3

Ok you are gonna think she's naive asf but that's how your meant to feel. Bare In mind her past and how she doesn't know that she was being abused. Anyways I'm going to bed I hope this was alright (let me know what you think) I question my writing skills sometimes. Goodnight ilysm 🥰🖤