"You okay?"
"I think so."
Everythings the same. Nothing's changed.
Except for the people.
I look around the familiar airport which looks as lively and as clean as I remember. I remember the time where I arrived, the little 6 year old me, and the place that I left at the age of 18.
I look over to my right to see the same snack machine, looking more old and used. I remember the time where I wanted a snickers bar, mum wouldn't let me as it was getting late and she didn't want me to get hyper. I didn't even know that I still had that memory.
I look in front of me, to a sea of all different types of people, except I'm not small anymore so it's less intimidating. I remember looking around the foreign place, knowing that this was new my home.
At that time I thought it'd be forever.
I remember dad holding my hand that I was clenching onto all those years ago. Except now it's Harry's hand.
I killed my brother here.
I'm a murderer.
I try to subside the dark and guilty thoughts. But it's hard considering this was my not-so-homely-home.
I remember entering the large building that I'm in now, knowing that I was being set free. The day I moved, a few years back. I never told my parents. I mean, my dad was on a business trip so it was hard to tell him.
I remember the guilt I felt. Knowing that I'm a criminal, needing to be trapped forever. Yet I was too selfish for that to stop me. I am too selfish.
"C-can we go over to the machine?" I ask, still in my own little universe. My heart feels weak, heavy, sad, guilty. I feel like I'm going to throw up.
My eyes flicker back to a time where I was still young, with a bright future ahead of me.
I lead Harry through the foreign crowd as I start to see the sparkling floor that I once saw years ago. All at once, I remember my mother's voice. "We'll come back another day," she told me. She was right next to the vending machine that day, in her favourite dress, flowing in the air. I remember her soft, amazing smile.
I try to wash away the tears. I see a Snickers bar in the showcase. Maybe this is the day where I come back. Harry, without saying a word passes me the money. As I move my hand over to put the money in, I freeze, as memories come flooding back.
"Sorry, maybe another day, we need to get to our new home!" my mother's voice flickers in my mind.
"You can choose your room,"
"You're a fucking monst-"
I cut off my thoughts, clenching my eyes shut, wishing for something to had of changed. I then feel Harry's hand on my back, bringing me back to the present time.
I stare at the snicker bar fall down the machine. I take the snickers from the flap at the bottom.
"Harry," I whisper, turning to his calming face. I realise that I haven't been breathing, as I feel my chest rising to fill everything back up with air. "Talk, anything, please," I say to him, keeping it as brief as anything, forgetting how to form full sentences.
Maybe if I'm brought back to the present time with Harry's voice, then maybe I won't have to remember the time where I felt most trapped.
"Are you okay?" He asks. I nod, keeping it brief for him to carry on speaking. As he thinks of something to say, I stop in my tracks as I see the cafe my dad and I always used to go to. I worked there for a little while. I remember we became pretty well known in there. "We've got all day, love, don't rush things." He says, giving me slight comfort.
