NEW YORK JUNE 2003
"Daddy, let's go let's go!" Luna squeals in excitement.
Luna, being impatient, takes his large hands and drags him out the door, longing for the fresh air on a summer's evening. The sky is a palette of pinks and blues, orange and reds the sun falling to slumber.
When they arrive at the park, they see an ice cream van, the line empty as if it just opened up. Her father watches Luna eye the van. "Would you like some ice cream?"
Luna's head shoots up to her dad's eyes "No, you can't afford it, daddy. We've got a lollypop at home,"
She gives off a weak smile, secretly wanting all the icecreams in the world. Her father kneels down to her level. "But we're not at home right now," He smiles, Luna shinning one too. Her dad fixes the red bow in her hair "Come on, let's get some ice cream,"
She smiles as she takes his empty hand.
She waits patiently as her father orders her favourite ice cream as looks down at her lap. She remembers she has a polaroid camera so she picks it up and aims for her dad's hand, full of a perfectly shaped Mr Whippy, and takes a picture.
She smiles triumphantly at the picture, liking the contrast of bright colours.
THE NEXT DAY
Her father yawns, sat on his special chair, Luna on his lap. He weaves her hair in and out making the perfect pigtails. "Daddy do you have to go?" She asks, upset that her dad will need to go on another trip.
"It'll be like I never left," He smiles, yawning once again.
"Are you tired?" Luna asks, still wanting him to stay.
He shakes his head no, trying to conserve his energy. "Nope," He lies, trying to make Luna feel a little better.
She follows her father to the door, his bag in his hand. "Be good for mum okay?" He asks, kneeling down to her level.
Luna starts sobbing as she runs into a hug, almost pushing him to the floor. "Please don't go, daddy," She cries.
"Luna." He says, making eye contact with her "One day we'll have all the money in the world. We won't have to live here. We will be free."
"We'll have all the ice-creams ever?" She asks, wiping her tears.
"Of course," He chuckles even though deep down he knows he will always struggle. He gets up and stands on the other side of the doorframe, ready to close it.
"Goodbye, little one."
"Goodbye, daddy."
NEW YORK JUNE 2013
"I'm sorry, Tobias. " She says, putting the blade against her arm. "I-I''m a murderer-" She whispers, her life trembling around her. "I don't deserve to live, yo-you de-deserved the world." Her voice cracks. Her eyes purse shut as she makes the blade cut her soft skin, blood seeping through. She forces herself not to flinch or scream. She just wants to feel something again. She doesn't want her mother to come back into the room. "I'm sorry I took that away." She cries, tears pouring down her soft cheek. She flickers her eyes back open, staring at the blood on her hand.
She stares at it blankly, feeling scared, as if the world is falling behind her. Without thinking, she purses her eyes shut again. She knows she's running away to the UK tomorrow. She knows she's leaving everything behind. She repeats the lines her mother taught her. No one loves her. Her dad left days ago for another trip associating with work so no one in her household is there to help her.
She's a murderer.
