TW for this chapter- Self harm & starvation
Song of the chapter: Love like this (acoustic)- Kodaline
From that time on I seemed to see my life in chapters, as if I were a character in a murder mystery. From the moment I was attacked in The Three Broomsticks to the moment I woke up, still submerged in black matter and writhing in pain.
Darkness was inevitable, un-escapable and everywhere, as was pain.
In the first few days I called out for Draco and threw myself against the bars of my cell. Screaming until my throat was ripped raw and hoarse. His name sounded guttural, even animal, on the tip of my tongue always.
Nobody ever came to me. After two days the only pain I could feel was the one in my stomach and heart. Blinding, searing pain like someone had burned me from the inside out.
On the fifth day of this insufferable hunger and thirst I knew you could see my bones. It wasn't possible they weren't showing through my itchy skin already. I pulled the bottom of my shirt off to look at my stomach and sure enough I'd lost enough weight you could see every tiny bone inside of my broken body.
I knew that the average person lasted about 8-21 days without food and water. I could only hope I'd die soon, not drag it out.
I put two fingers to my wrist, feeling my heartbeat. It was almost gone, slow, irregular, hard to find.
On the eighth day every part of my body was screaming. I couldn't hear, couldn't see, everything was blurry or spinning in a dizzy disarray, my toes were blue, either from starvation or the cold, and my hands shook terribly.
How I ever made it through that day I don't know.
The next day was worse.
Not pain-wise, but hope-wise.
This type of darkness was more than a matter of lighting. It was every moment pressed like a tattoo into my skin. Every passing second shoved down my throat until I suffocated. My eyes being blind to everything around me was only a part of the darkness. A tiny tiny part. It was words filling the space like air does, words of death. It was matter filling the cracks in the walls. It was the oxygen exploding into shattered pieces and cutting me. How someone could survive in the dark was unknown.
I hadn't moved out of my spot on the floor since day four so there I sat in complete silence.
Ten days.
Ten whole days before my body began to truly fail.
My body temperature dropped so much I could even tell the stone floor was warmer than my skin. My knees, hands and feet were blue and bruised, one of signs your body is giving up.
I wished I could write Draco another letter, one explaining my death and how, in life, I'd loved him endlessly.
But no that wouldn't do.
On the eleventh day, it must've been morning, I don't think I would have lasted into the night of the eleventh day, someone came to my prison, wherever that was, with a tray of something.
It was cold and disgusting, my body repelled it so they forced something else into me with a tube. My strength was hardly replenished but my heartbeat was stronger and I could feel things again.
The person didn't talk, or touch me with bare skin, only shoved a needle into my arm and left me to shiver again.
Twelve days.
Thirteen.
The stuff they brought me had helped but I was still dying.
Dying. Dying. Dying. Dead.
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Black suits
Romance~He sat there with his face resting on his palm, never once looking up from his plate and somehow, to me, that was worse than him standing there publicly humiliating me. It was the equivalent of meaning nothing at all.~ Evangeline Gray is in her six...
