Chapter 19: Window

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♡  Alaiya's POV:  ♡

I take a deep breath in and fix my sweatshirt which was a little lifted by none other.

I speed-walk to the door and look into the small mirror on the wall next to it. My lips are still wet so I quickly wipe them off and swallow every butterfly that still hasn't left my body yet.

Okay, what you did was a one-time thing. It was a moment of weakness. It will never happen again and you love Carson. He's your boyfriend and you love him.

I repeat to myself how much I love him, and finally, I get the courage to open the door.

Carson stands a little angrily that I didn't open up sooner, and his healing bruises only make him look scarier.

"Sorry...I had to pee," I say my excuse, but he doesn't seem pleased by it.

He still walks in after kissing my temple and makes his way to the couch.

I check in the mirror just to be sure I don't look guilty, and once I've prepared myself to look natural, I follow behind him. He turns on the TV and lays his body out on the long-leg side of the couch.

"I'm gonna go shower." I point and he looks over at me, nods, and turns back towards the TV.

I try and walk casually there, but in reality, I'm having a whole internal panic attack. I open the door to my bedroom and Roman stands there on his phone like this is a normal Thursday for him while I'm over here having breathing problems because of what we just did.

How is he so calm?

I mouth for him to get in the restroom, and he rolls his eyes at me like I'm the one being impossible, though he follows my instructions. I lock my bedroom door after he's in and rush to turn the shower on. I guess watching Vampire Diaries has taught me something.

I pull up the shower lever and close the door just in case even though my bedroom door is locked.

"Are you hiding me or a fucking murder you committed?" he says, talking about my extra percussions, but he doesn't know how angry Carson will get if he finds him here.

I don't even want to think about what he would do if he found out about our kiss.

"I thought you guys had an open relationship?" He raises an eyebrow.

"We do," I immediately get into defensive mode. "It's just more on his side than it is on mine," I try to be vague and hope that he doesn't ask for details.

Who am I kidding? Of course he's going to ask for details. I'd be shocked if he didn't considering this is Roman we're talking about.

"Wait." His hand is held out to pause. "So he's allowed to fuck anyone he wants, but you're not?" He puts the puzzle together.

No...

"He just has more sexual needs than I do," I shrug with a little embarrassment of the topic.

It's true. I don't have the strong needs he has, and who am I to stop him from perusing those.

"That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard," he says shocked by what I just said.

"He still comes back at the end of the day, so why does it matter?" I whisper while questioning.

"Does he not make you come either when he gets back from fucking other girls?" he asks with sarcasm in his tone, though I'm confused.

Come? Come where? Does he not take me places? Like football?

"Yeah, I just don't find interest in it," I shrug talking about football, and his face goes from being sarcastic to a puzzled expression.

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