Stupid Supergirl AU's

Jailed Again

"Nope, this time you are going to get them." Lena shook her head.
"Lena, you paid the bail, you have to go." Kelly told her.
"Last time, they lit my carpet on fire!" Lena pointed out, "Look I love Kara, but if I have to hear that she's done something stupid again, I will throw myself out of the window."
"Lena, Kara is just-"
"Kelly, she is the absolute love of my life. But I can not second guess that every time she ends up in prison." Lena sighed, "Can you please just go get them?"
"Fine." Kelly sighed, "But next time, you gotta convince Brainy to go get them."
"Fine." Lena agreed, "And just letting you know that they're known as Lena's idiots. So ask for Lena's idiots."

~ Meanwhile in prison ~

"Do you think Lena will be mad?" Kara asked Alex.
"Kara, I'm mad. Which means Lena will probably throw you into a pool full of Kryptonite." Alex told her.
"Guys, I'm scared." Nia interrupted, "Andrea just sent me an email saying I have to write the report on this."
"I'll handle Andrea." Kara sighed, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
"That's not what you were saying thirty minutes ago." Nia crossed her arms.
"Look kid, you didn't have to steal the toaster." Alex pointed out.
"And you didn't have to kick the guy in the crotch." Nia argued.
"Yes I did." Alex crossed her arms, "He called me a useless gay. I'm useful okay?!"
"Okay, okay, you're useful. Geez." Nia backed away.
"Look, Lena is on her way. We can't start arguing now." Kara tried to keep the peace, "Can't we just all agree that perhaps burning down Alex's apartment wasn't the best idea."
"Kara. The fire was all you. You tried to use the microwave. Who the hell puts a potsticker in the microwave for sixty-four minutes?!" Alex pointed out.
"Okay, the fire was me. But you threw the microwave out into the hall-"
"Trying to save Nia!" Alex defended herself.
"Look, we're all in here for arsen...again. I don't think Lena is coming." Nia sighed, "She's still mad about the third time we lit her carpet on fire."
"She's also still mad that I spilt wine on it." Alex added.
"Lena's coming, okay. She wouldn't leave us in prison."

~ Meanwhile in Lena's apartment ~

"I should've killed Kara." Lena rubbed her temples, looking out the window at Alex's burnt down apartment.
"Miss Luthor, you're getting a call from Detective Maggie Sawyer." Jess informed her, "Shall I put her through?"
Lena sighed, "May as well."
Lena put the phone on speaker as Maggie began to lecture Lena.
"You're the responsible one Lena. You're supposed to keep them under control."
"Yeah well, there's not enough alcohol in the world to make me go anywhere near that prison. I should've told Kelly to leave them in there." Lena took a sip of her whiskey.
"You do realise that you probably shouldn't drink if you're girlfriend is going to come home from prison."
"Maggie, I have this thing called trauma. I never stop drinking." Lena told her.

~ Back at the prison ~

"Kara, did you really just sign up for a talent show?"
"Shut up Alex, just because you know I'm going to win, doesn't mean you can get all frustrated with me." Kara argued.
"Prison has changed you man." Nia said from the bench.
"Says the one making friendship bracelets for everyone." Kara pointed out, "Where did you even get the material?"
"I promised the guard one if she grabbed it from my stuff." Nia told her.
"Why did you have-"
"Kara, that's a losing battle. Give up."
"I made you one with handcuffs on it." Nia handed one to Kara. "Prison buddies for life!"
"What did you ladies do to get life?" A woman asked.
"Oh no, we're not here for life." Kara clarified.
"Yeah, she's sleeping with Lena Luthor and because Kara is apparently good at it, Lena pays for bail when she gets horny." Nia blurred out.
"Nia!" Kara exaggerated.
"Oh and I'm their kid according to everyone who isn't me."
The woman looked between Kara and Nia, "Yeah, I can see that."

~ Meanwhile Kelly ~

"They really had to piss off Lena. They'll be fine Brainy said. They're grown adults Brainy said. They learnt their lesson J'onn said." Kelly rambled as she drive to the prison.
"Kelly, I need you back at the apartment. Maggie wants to question us." Lena's voice said through the phone.
"Oh thank god. Saved by Alex's ex."

~ Meanwhile at the prison ~

"Lena's never left us here overnight before. What's taking her so long?" Kara asked Alex.
"You're the one with superhearing." Alex mumbled.
"Oh true, Nia stop cussing." Kara disciplined.
"I'm saying fluff."
"Exactly, stop cussing."