Stupid Supergirl AU's

Jail - Marvel X DC

"If I have to pay for another person's bail, I'm going to get Wanda to throw me into the sun." Lena said in frustration.
"It was your kid who started i-"
"I know it was my kid Nat! Now can we please go get our group of morons?" Lena asked.
"Wait?! Lorelei did something stupid...without me?! How dare she!" Alex rushed over to the adults.
"Babe, not the time." Kelly shook her head.
"I kinda wanna leave Kara in there and see her elaborate plan to escape. And how it pans out." Wanda interrupted.
"Are you reading her mind?" Lena questioned.
"Where do you think she got the idea to escape?" Wanda replied.
"Don't encourage her stupid. She's a superhero."
"Who's been in jail more times than the villains she fights." Nat pointed out.
"Carol's no better." Lena got defensive.
"She's got you there Natasha." Kelly told her.
"Yeah well, Alex isn't exactly perfect." Nat crosses her arms.
"Yeah but at least she looks amazing while doing it." Kelly shrugged.
"Starting to think I'm not the only person who needs therapy." Wanda thought aloud.
"Can we please go get my kid? And my idiot wife?" Lena tried to rush them.

~ An Hour Later ~

The group of jail birds sat on the couch as the responsible adults glared at them.
"Anyone going to tell us what you did?" Nat spoke up first.
"In jail or before jail?" Lorelei asked, her voice was drenched with sarcasm.
"Before jail." Nat crossed her arms.
"You are scarily similar to Alex...but scarier." Nia pointed out.
"Oh my god, she is!" Lorelei agreed.
"The short version is, Lorelei kicked Mon-El in the shin." Kara blurted out.
"Why did you kick-"
"That's my girl!" Lena high-fived her.
"Lena no, we need you on our side. If the idiots get you, the responsible adults lose." Kelly pulled Lena away.
"Why did you kick Mon-El?" Wanda asked.
"Well, he was all like 'you're so small, how can you be a hero?' And I was like 'didn't my mother tell you not to speak?' And he kept making fun of me, so I broke his shin." Lorelei shrugged.
"You broke his shin?"
"And his nose." Nia added.
"Then Maggie showed up and blah blah blah, something about I can't hit Mon-El. I flew off and got a burger, came back and I was under arrest for evading the police." Lorelei looked at Alex, "You upgraded. Maggie's a bitch."
"Okay, that explains why you were in prison, but why did Kara and Nia go to prison?" Wanda asked.
"Oh, Lorelei didn't want to be alone, so I broke Maggie's car window and got charged with damaging public property." Nia admitted.
"And I couldn't let my daughters go alone, so I told Maggie to 'fudge off' and she said 'that's not a crime.' So naturally, I punched Mon-El in the face and got done for assault." Kara smiled innocently, "I'm such a good mother."
"Can I be the one to tell her?" Alex asked.
"Alex no. Don't ruin her mo-"
"If you were a good mother, your kid wouldn't have gone to prison." Lena said, sipping whiskey straight from the bottle.
"She's your kid too!" Kara pointed out.
"Yes, but when she's with me, she doesn't go to jail." Lena argued.
Kara stood up and grabbed Lena's hand, "Come on, we're going to bed."
"What? Why?" Lena asked.
"Because angry you is hot and, if you keep drinking that whiskey, you won't be angry at me anymore. I wang angry sex." Kara kept pulling her towards the room.
"Okay, let's go."
"No! Please no!" Lorelei exclaimed, "I have super hearing and you guys are really loud!"
"Are you okay?" Nat looked at Lorelei.
"I've heard them have sex every hour since I was born! At least when I was a kid, I thought they were just fighting." Lorelei whined.
"And I thought Nat and I had an active sex life." Carol said, clearly impressed, "Come with me, I'll take you to a different planet."
"I can't though, I'm grounded. Unless I'm in therapy." Lorelei sighed heavily.
"You want to hang out in my office for a bit?" Kelly asked.
"Yes please." Lorelei jumped to her feet and ran out to Kelly's car.