Stupid Supergirl AU's

Quintuple Date

"Shall we play a round of who knows their partner the best?" Nia asked.
"Nia, Wanda can read minds and Lori watched WandaVision on repeat." Nat pointed out, "They'd win because they know each other's backstories like the back of hands."
"It's not like you to turn down a challenge." Carol pointed out.
"Babe, I take a challenge when I know I can win it. Like when I didn't pick up Thor's hammer. I didn't know if I could or not, so I didn't try." Natasha admitted.
"Speaking of Thor." Wanda spoke up, "He still owes me $20 from when I picked up the hammer."
"Wanda, you warped reality so you could." Lori pointed out, "Then when they said you can't do that, you used your magic to pick Thor up with he was holding it."
"I still picked up his hammer." Wanda mumbled, "He never specified that my hands had to be on it."

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"Lori's a pussy." Hope rolled her eyes. Before she could explain why, Lori spoke up.
"You are what you eat." Lori said without thinking.
"If that were true, wouldn't you have needed to eat a depressed gay?" Nat replied.
"Nat, I am a depressed gay." Wanda admitted.
Kelly sighed heavily, "I think everyone has had enough wine."

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"I wanted to be L-Corp's CEO when I grew up. But I also hoped to have a husband one day. So young me was a fucking idiot." Lori admitted.
"You are literally acting CEO." Alex pointed out.
"I'm also Andrea's right hand woman at Catco. That doesn't mean I'm any smarter than I was as a child."

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"Did you know Nat has a sister?" Carol asked everyone, "No one told me Nat had a sister."
"I did. She's pretty hot." Lori said.
"Lori, if you start trying to get with Nat's sister, I will warp reality and kill you." Wanda glared at her.
"I said she was hot, not that I'd fuck her." Lori defended.
"So you'd fuck all of National City, but you wouldn't fuck Yelena?" Carol raised her eyebrow.
"That's not what I meant-"
Nat slammed her fist down on the table, "No one is fucking my sister!"
"Hate to break it to you Nat, but someone probably is fucking your sister." Wanda pointed out.
"I know Miss Writer Lady wants to fuck your sister." Alex told her.
"Miss Writer Lady also has a strange crush on Nat's mom." Kelly added.

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"Just pointing this out, I'm dating a milf. A literal milf."
"Lori, for the last time, stop calling Wanda a milf." Lena groaned.
"I told you not to let her hang out with Lillian." Kara said to Lena.
"In my defence, I didn't anticipate her dating a person from a different universe." Lena defended.
"I did." Alex shrugged.
"Same." Nia agreed.
"If it was going to be anyone, it was going to be Lori." Kelly said, "Although, I thought she'd end up with Nat's sister."
Nat groaned, "Stop talking about my sister."

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Lori started singing, "I'm sorry for simping / but simping's what I do / Yelena can stomp on me / Wanda please hit me with a car."
"Starting to regret falling for her." Wanda sighed.
"Does she just need to have multiple crushes to be in a relationship or something?" Nat asked.
"I'm just very vocal about who I find attractive." Lori said, "It's okay, this crush will be gone in a week."