Stupid Supergirl AU's

Little Things

"Lori has such big feet." Natasha pointed out.
"You know what they say about big feet?" Lori smirked.
Carol raised an eyebrow, "What do they say?"
"Big p-"
"Pink socks!" Wanda cut Lori off, "She has a big pair of pink socks."
"I do. I really do own a pair of pink socks, but that wasn't what I was going for." Lori replied.

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"Someone should put on a magic show!" Kara yelled.
Everyone looked to Wanda as she walked into the room.
"Why is everyone staring? Did you find out that Lori and I actually slept together last night?" Wanda asked.
Lena choked on her drink and Kara gasped. Lori's eyes went wide.
"We were talking about putting on a magic show." Natasha looked at Wanda, "But it seems as if you've been using your magic hands to make Lori feel magical."
Nia ate popcorn as Lena dialled a number on her phone.
"Who are you calling?" Kara asked.
"Kelly. I need an appointment. I also need to leave the house before I try to kill Wanda for defiling my daughter." Lena responded.
"You say that as if I'm an object that she's shoved up her va-"
"Lori!" Alex cut her off.
Yelena looked at Lori, "Well obviously you shoved something up her va-"
"Yelena!" Natasha yelled at her.

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"If I were you, I'd break up with me." Lori said to Wanda.
"Wait, why?" Wanda asked her.
"'Cause I hate myself." Lori admitted.

Kelly, sitting in her room watching tv with Alex, "My someone needs therapy senses are tingling."
"Tough shit to that person, I'm watching movies with my wife. And she's not leaving because someone can't keep their mouth shut."

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"So I had my appointment with Kelly yesterday." Wanda told the group.
"How'd that go?" Lena asked.
"She's still rocking back and forth in the foetal position." Wanda gestured to Kelly's home office.
"You can't break my therapist! She's the only one I can afford." Lori glared at Wanda.
"You're literally a millionaire. And the daughter of a billionaire." Nia pointed out.
"And you don't even pay Kelly. You just say can I talk to you auntie - to - niece, then proceed to rant about your trauma." Alex added.
"That's kinda smart though." Jess said.
"I knew there was at least a tiny bit of Luthor in you." Lillian smiled.
"There's also a tiny bit of Luthor in Wanda." Yelena said out of the blue.
Lena and Kara choked on their drinks.
"Yelena!" Natasha gasped.
"What?! You were thinking it too."

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"I love little things." Winn said to Kara, "They're so adorable."
"Well that explains why you like Mon-El." Lori spoke without missing a beat.

Lena looked up from her experiment, "My someone's roasting Mon-El senses are tingling."
"Why is that always the line everyone goes to?" Wanda asked.
"Oh because when Lori was a kid, she was obsessed with Spider-Man. And he always said my spider senses are tingling. So Lori would always say it. We all picked it up from her." Kelly explained.
"It used to be really funny when Lena and I would be on a date and out of the blue one of us would be like my Lori's about to kill the babysitter senses are tingling. The waitresses were always super concerned." Kara smiled at Lena, "We really should've just left her with Alex."
"With all due respect to your sister, I didn't want my daughter ending up obsessed with guns." Lena admitted.
"But now she's obsessed with Wanda." Kara pointed out.
"Obsessions with Superheroes was a trait she, unfortunately, from me." Lena sighed.

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"MotherrrrRrrrRsS!" Lori screeched as she ran down the stairs.
"Oh no, not the raptor screech." Lena looked to Kara, "What did you do?"
"Whatever it was, it wasn't me." Kara shook her head.
Lori jumped on the couch between them, "Nia at my ice cream!"
"Nia?" Lena looked around her daughter to look at the guilt-ridden adult, "Is that true?"
"Yes! But Yelena said she had made that for me." Nia admitted while throwing Yelena under the bus.
Yelena finally burst out laughing, "I didn't think you'd believe me."
"She's a very trusting person Yelena!" Kara yelled at her.
"So am I in trouble?"
"No Nia. But Yelena is on dishes duty now." Lena glared.
"I don't even live here." Yelena crossed her arms. "I own an apartment."
"Not anymore." Lori pointed to the television that said it was burning to the ground.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Lori screeches when she wants to get someone in trouble?" Carol asked Natasha.
"If we start asking questions, we're going to need more therapy." Nat replied.

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"Mom said I gotta start participating more while in patrols. So guess what I'll be doing tonight?" Lori did finger guns towards Carol.
"Billy's mom?!" Natasha responded.
"Well it's not like I'll be doing his dad. Considering that would I am a necrophiliac." Lori replied.
"Lori!" Lena yelled, "You are not to be sleeping with Wanda while on duty."
"Fine." Lori turned to Yelena, "You're my on duty bitch."
"Yeahhh I now see my mistake." Lena sighed heavily, "Is there any chance you could-"
Wanda cut Lena off by yeeting Lori out of the window.
"That?" Wanda asked.
"Yep, exactly that." Lena nodded.
"Alright. Throwing someone out of a window is not a health coping mechanism." Kelly finally spoke up, "All of you, my office. Now!"

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"Lori? What are you doing home?" Lena looked to her daughter, "You should be at work."
"Oh. I needed to use the toilet, and the one at L-Corp hasn't been cleaned yet. So I'm using the home one." Lori explained, "Also, Wanda said she was busy cleaning up so she couldn't come see me. So, I wanted to come home to see he-"
"Go back to work!" Lena pointed at the door.
"FinEeE!" Lori exaggerated her actions as she left, even slamming the door - causing it to fall of its hinges.
"She's fixing that when she gets home." Lena turned her attention back to her book.
"Lena, your book is upside down." Kelly pointed out.
"I know. But the idiots won't disturb me if I have a book in my hand. I'm trying to see how long it takes for them to bother me." Lena admitted.
"Is that because you get angry when someone interrupts your fantasy world?" Kelly asked.
"No, it's because I could kill someone with my book." Lena said sarcastically before continuing, "Of course it's because I get angry when someone interrupts my fantasy world! And it's not my fault that fantasy is better than reality!"
"She probably could kill someone with that book though." Natasha pointed out.
"Oh I definitely could." Lena agreed.
"Let's start a book club. But instead of reading the books, we use them to fight each other." Yelena suggested.
"The first book could be the screenplay to Fight Club." Natasha added.
"Absolutely not!" Kelly shut down the idea.

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"So we're in an agreement? No one tells Nat, Brainy, Kelly, Wanda or Lena." Lori asked everyone.
"Remind me again why we're breaking into Catco." Nia asked, "We literally live with Andrea."
"I left something in here and I don't want to be alone."

~ Ten minutes later ~

Lorelei was thrown through a wall.
"Who the fuck built a robot?! And why is in in Catco?!" Lorelei yelled as she got up.
Luckily for Lori, Wanda ran into the room and ripped the robot apart with her magic.
"Lorelei-"
Lori cut Wanda off, "I know, I know. Let's just go home. Please."
"Stop thinking that you're going to kill whoever told me." Wanda told her.