nothing fucking good.

chapter 20

(authors note: hello. What's good my friends. i was hoping to get this out earlier and I'm sorry. Like, where did the time go? has it been like 5 days? 1 day? i honestly can't tell at the moment. I was also planning on making this chapter wayyyy shorter, but it escalated. I'm also trying to finish this quickly, so I've been spending more time writing then reading. Also, please don't push me if my updating is wonky. I know none of you have, but just in case anyone plans on talking shit, just to remind you, i am a very mentally ill person, who wrote this story as a vent. But it means a lot to me with how many people like it. So I am putting in an effort for you guys. trigger warning for the usual, except more talk of calorie counting, restricting and more daydreams in this chpt. Enjoy my lovelies.)

The next day, the alarm that woke him up resembled Deku with how much it fucking annoyed him. 

The good feeling from last night obviously hadn't seeped into the next day, because he felt like shit, his stomach was hurting again, and the neutral mood from the other day was gone. He felt like someone had just kicked his fucking cat or some shit. (Not that he had a cat)

The rise in motivation he had felt a few hours after recovery girl used her quirk on him, was gone, and he did not want to get out of bed. The dread he felt was so strong, that he wished he hadn't woken up that morning. Whilst these thoughts were running through his head, the obnoxious alarm ringing in the background only served to worsen his mood.

With squinting eyes, he reached over for the phone and turned the alarm off. He felt boneless, and his fingers felt delicate and slow, like an old woman's body.

The worst thing about that day though, was the fact he thought he would still be feeling better, but instead he woke up to a handful of shit and the universe flipping him off. He swore, if any extras did anything to annoy him that day, he would blast the flesh off their skulls and keep their corpses as prizes.

When he got sick and tired of laying in his bed, not bothering to even open his eyes or move at all, he decided to get up. It was painful to have to get up that morning, but he had his weight loss and muscle building workout to do before school. He was almost proud of past Katsuki to think about how future him would take ages to get out of fucking bed, and therefore set the alarm extremely early. But he also high key hated himself for it. He was sure that, that day he would be the one getting called raccoon eyes, not mina.

Making his way to the bathroom, he quickly brushed his teeth before going back out to perform the work out. It was tedious to do with his brittle body, but that was why he was doing it, to become strong, and get rid of any weaknesses. He was extremely ashamed of himself for letting his body get to that stage, his diet was not anything he couldn't handle, it was just that sometimes it was hard to maintain muscle mass and keep healthy when he had to take such drastic measures to lose weight.

For the first bit of the workout, he focused on his arms, then his core muscles, and then his legs. He also took the time to do a very hard shoulder and back workout, taking into consideration the gauntlets he has to use, and the force the explosions sometimes have on those particular parts of his body.

When he was done, he was panting like a dog. He hated that he always seemed to end up like that after every workout, but he was getting better, he was training his body and losing weight, doing wonders for his appearance and his physical health! He just needed to reach his goal before he could see how much he had improved... right? He wasn't going to be a fatty forever! He wouldn't allow it!

Strutting into his bathroom, he forced himself into the shower, he spent ages basking under warm water, not even wanting to get out of the shower. When he finally did, it was nearly 7 in the morning.