RED | nyukyu ✓

ten

𝐭𝐞𝐧 : 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐢𝐚
❝ i won't regret,
i won't look back. ❞
— ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᵍᵒⁿ —

ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗

"what was that?" chanhee asked, glaring at changmin who smiled at him, putting his phone down and shaking his head. "ji changmin, did you take a picture of me?"

"and what would make you think that!" changmin exclaimed, smiling innocently at chanhee, batting his eyes as chanhee rolled his. the younger of the pair laughed, showing the picture to chanhee. "you look pretty."

"you can't even see my full face," chanhee said as he glanced quickly at the photo, subconsciously fixing his mask since he saw that it was ever so slightly lopsided.

"well, i will once the food gets here since you have to take the mask off," changmin said, taking a sip of his iced americano (chanhee refused to get any drink, his glass of water still untouched). "but, i can tell from your eyes that you're pretty." 

changmin felt immense happines at the very idea of being one of the first few in their university to be able to see him without his mask in person making his smile even brighter causing chanhee to glare at him. 

eventually, the waitress set the food down before them. but instead of eating, chanhee stared at his plate, the pasta staring back at him.

"aren't you gonna eat?" changmin asked, putting a spoonful of mushroom soup in his mouth. changmin took note of how chanhee fiddled with the fork and spoon, his fingers barely brushing against the metal cutlery. "would you feel better if i closed my eyes?"

chanhee ended his staring competition with the pasta (the pasta won anyways) and locked eyes with changmin. "you would do that?"

changmin felt like a liar.

he knew that the only reason he would even offer such a suggestion was because he had already seen his (very realistic) portraits drawn by kevin but, if he hadn't, he was certain that he wouldn't come up with such an idea.

chanhee shook his head slowly, picking up his fork and, with a sigh, using his free hand to remove his mask and placing it below his phone.

changmin felt his heart racing, mentally taking pictures of the boy before him because he knew that if he took his phone out he would scare chanhee and lose the minimal trust he had in him. and so, he prayed that his mind had enough memory to capture every single detail on choi chanhee's face.

and if angels existed on earth, changmin was sure that chanhee was one of them.

from the way that his black hair contrasted against his fair skin to how his lips were painted a soft pink, everything about him was perfect and changmin felt privileged to be able to see it all in person. 

"you're staring," chanhee commented, twirling his pasta onto the spoon. "not so pretty now am i?" 

changmin shook his head violently, giving himself slight neck pain which he disregarded. he wanted to tell chanhee how, in his eyes, he was ethereal. how, to him, he was better than every person he had ever met and how just one look from him was enough to make changmin stop whatever it was he was doing just to admire him, his mere presence enough to capture every second of his attention. 

but, he couldn't find the words to describe how he felt, every sentence he could think of sounding mismatched and oddly phrased. so to chanhee, his silence was the reply, the older boy sighing once more and eating his food. 

changmin wanted to kick himself for killing the mood further but he didn't know how to resurrect it to begin with. in times like that, he wished that he were more like kevin - he somehow had his shit together and, when it came to his pursual of jacob, he never shied away, taking every opportunity to become closer to him until eventually, he too reciprocated his feelings. 

and, although he knew he shouldn't, changmin thought about how chanhee would probably have been enjoying himself more if he were with younghoon. maybe then, he would've been smiling and laughing instead of eating quietly and avoiding eye contact with him. 

"sorry," changmin uttered, chanhee looking up from his pasta and wiping his mouth. "i really wanted to say that you're really really pretty but i didn't know how to phrase myself without sounding weird but i really didn't want to offend you so i-"

"well, some form of an answer is a lot better than silence ji changmin," chanhee replied, taking a sip of his water. "but, thank you." changmin nodded, smiling slightly as he took note of what chanhee said. chanhee grabbed the bill on the table and checked through the receipt, his eyes scanning it. 

"did...did something happen today? i don't mean to pry but-"

"it's as i've told you. my personality is defective so people don't like me. my question is-" chanhee placed his card with the bill and passed it to the waitress. "why do you seem so fascinated in me? a dance major giving a shit about a math major just in itself feels wrong but you caring about me feels like a crime."

changmin could hear kevin's words playing in his head ("if you're shooting your shot, i think he should at least know you're in the game.") and, putting his fears aside, he stood up, his chair sliding backwards and shocking chanhee who jumped slightly in his seat. "i..." chanhee looked around, keenly aware of how other customers turned their heads to look at them. "i..." the words were stuck in his throat, unwilling to go out. "i...i have to go to the toilet." 

not waiting for his answer, changmin sped in the direction of the washroom and when he was there, he stood by the sink and doused his face with water. as he leaned towards the sink, he pointed at his own reflection. "get it together! just tell him!" 

when he talked to kevin the other day, kevin told him that he immediately told jacob that he liked him and, although the older was shocked, he accepted his feelings but at the time of his confession, jacob told him clearly that he didn't view of him in that way. "but, look at us now! dating for two whole years!" kevin had told him, trying his best to prove his point to changmin who had sat down taking notes of every move that kevin did. "but, jacob is an actual angel so i have no idea if what i did worked because it's effective or because jacob is nice."

despite his warning, changmin still wanted to try since he thought it was better than to just go around in circles when it came to chanhee - he'd never get anywhere like that. 

he took his phone out and clicked on his direct messages with chanhee. he typed out everything he was going to say but, as his finger hovered above send, the washroom doors opened, a familiar face walking in. "are you taking a shower in here?" chanhee asked, folding his arms as he stared at changmin's wet hair and face. "if you needed to bathe you could've just-"

"i like you." chanhee's eyes widened, his arms dropping to his sides. "i like you choi chanhee."

ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗

[a/n imagine confessing in a PUBLIC WASHROOM nyukyu can relate!]