God, I hate You

40

we all sat in the quinjet, mumbling to eachother as we waited to arrive at our destination. two weeks had passed since i went out with christian and since then we had hung out three times, not to mention we texted 24/7. part of me was starting to like him, as much as i tried not to. was i ready to make it serious? no, of course i wasn't. one side of my mind kept telling me to let him go and accept the man who kept trying to be with me. but shit i couldn't.

bucky sat alone whilst the rest of us sat in a huddle, talking about the plan and who was going to do what. we needed to clear a base and download some information off of their databases. i excused myself from the conversation and walked over to him, rocking slightly from the movement. he looked up and squinted at me before giving me a soft smile as he watched me take a seat beside him.
"hey" i said, nudging him lightly with my shoulder.
"what do you want?" he asked jokingly, pretending to be annoyed.
"nothing, you just looked sad" i murmured, staring at the scratched boots on my feet.
"returning to places like this, don't exactly put me in a good mood" he chuckled softly. i nodded slowly and took his metal arm gently in my hands.
"wonder if it'll rust" i teased, knowing the answer already. he laughed at my remark and watched as i ran my fingers up and down the slightly bumpy metal.
"oh-anyway, are you coming with me to grab some information or clearing the place out with the others?" i asked, snapping out of my daze.
"don't want you getting hurt" he teased, ruffling my hair. i nudged him as we fell into a smaller conversation.

"don't do anything stupid y/n" tony ordered through the comms. i scoffed and looked at bucky who walked beside me, a gun in his hands and a small smile on his face.
"i would never" i murmured, pressing the button on my earpiece. after taking down a group of people whilst we were on our way to download some databases.
"ooh, now that's hot" i whispered to myself, taking a seat on the old spinning chair and plugging something into the rusted computer.
"y/n how's it doing?" steve's voice asked, i pressed the comms button,
"pretty gooood, well i mean it hasn't blown up on me yet" i replied, a few chuckles came from the other side. "you think anyone's ever watched porn on this computer?" i asked, drumming my fingers against the table.
"probably" pietro replied, a few of the others told us off, telling us to wise up. just as it had finished transferring, i turned around expecting to see bucky standing behind me. but he wasn't.
"uh is bucky with you guys?" i asked, they all replied with quick a 'no'.

i cautiously made my way out of the room, and looked down the corridor to see bucky standing there, his back turned to me.
"barnes, what the hell are you doing?" i whispered angrily. he turned around, his body language tense. bucky said a few words in what sounded like russian and began slowly walking towards me.
"oh shit shit shit" i whispered, my hand pressing firmly on the comms button.
"language y/n" steve murmured.
"not the time steve" i hissed, before running in the opposite direction.
"what's wrong y/n?" clint asked, his voice buzzing in my ear.
"he's kinda gone all..winter soldier" i murmured. just as they were about to reply, comms cut out. my heart nearly fell out of my ass when i turned around to see bucky a few feet away from me.

"hey" i said, waving awkwardly. he said nothing and pulled his gun out, just as he pulled the trigger, i jumped to the side and began running. he looked around, trying to find me. just as he was about to turn in my direction, i kicked him harshly in the back, his gun went sliding against the grimy floor. he span around, his fist flying out in my directing. after barely
dodging it, we continued fighting. his strength was overpowering mine, as he pushed me to the ground. i jumped up slightly and wrapped my legs around his neck, trying to choke him unconscious.

he fell backwards, making my back hit the floor harshly, his body weight toppled on top of me. i kicked him off, sending him stumbling back slightly before regaining balance. bucky's eyes went even darker, i could feel the anger radiating off of him.
"oh fuck off" i whined, as his punches began flying towards me again. i kicked him in the face and watched as he fell to the floor. i panted, resting my hands against my knees. just as i was about to try fix my comms, two arms wrapped around my stomach and sent my flying onto the floor. my head whacked against the floor, my eyesight went slightly blurry from the sudden impact and i opened my eyes to see bucky leaning over me. his fist met my face, over and over he repeated his actions. i attempted to claw at his face or send him flying off me, but my vision was blurred and i could barely concentrate. blood streamed out of my nose and i could feel my lip bleeding so it was probably bust. just as he was about to send another punch in my direction, i grasped his face. bucky's fist paused in the air as he watched my nearly passed out self trying to speak.
"jesus bucky i didn't think you hated me that much" i chuckled teasingly, my ribs hurting with each small laugh. his eyes searched mine,
i stroked his cheekbones with my thumbs, my mouth overpowered with the taste of metal.
"it's okay" i whispered. just as i had said that, his eyes suddenly changed. bucky blinked a couple of times before staring back down at me, his eyes widening at the sight of me.
"y/n" he whispered, looking at his raised fist.
"oh thank god" i whispered, taking my hands off his face. i reached across the floor and grabbed my handgun which lay there, i slammed the bottom of it against his head, just in case. bucky fell unconscious on top of me and i whispered a quick sorry. just as i was about to attempt to pull myself out from under him, the others ran in.

pietro sped to me and pulled me out, he lightly brushed his fingers over the bruises and sighed with relief when he saw the grin on my face.
"oh thank god" wanda whispered, helping me up. steve grabbed bucky and walked in the direction of the jet,
"thank you for not..you know" steve murmured, nodding at bucky who was flung over his shoulders. i smiled as wanda draped an arm around me,
"i wasn't in the mood to get rid of him just yet" i chuckled. steve shook his head, a small smile on his face.
"i'll take him to shuri soon" he added. i nodded in agreement.
"he's gonna hate himself when he wakes up and remembers" nat whispered to me. i pressed my lips together,
"yeah..he will".