When I look at you

Chapter 34: 21 days & new beginninngs

ARIAS POV:
I thought I'd move on but I haven't. But we met for a reason I guess. I thought you were a blessing but no you were a lesson. But of all the lies he told "I love you" was my favorite. He was my once upon a time and I'll forever remember the good times. I have to move on now but I'll always love him the Same way the day we first met.

EZRAS POV:
I packed everything up and left rosewood. I was on my way to a new job In a new state and a fresh start. I couldn't wait to be teaching again but I always had those 2am thoughts about her still. I was at my hotel and it was 2:13 and I couldn't sleep.

ARIAS POV:
It was 2:13 am in my dorm and I still thought about ezra. I'm not ever going to tell him that I miss him because a part of me wishes he did too. Why should I be sad though? I have lost someone who didn't love me. But he lost someone who did and that's what hurt. Because I look back and remember my mom told me takes 21 days to break a habit when I was younger because chewed my nails. Then I remember the first 21 days getting over ezra. The first day I cried so hard it scared my mom that she spent the night outside my room just to make sure I didn't stop breathing like a newborn in her crib the first week. The second day I stayed home and didn't go to school I stayed home and cried myself sick in the bathroom. The third day I having 2am thoughts at noon and I couldn't sleep. The fourth day I saw you once again and couldn't handle myself. The fifth day I saw our picture together and it felt like my throat was on fire so I burned that first copy of the book and love letters you gave me. On the sixth day I went out of town. I smoked weed with a boy on his back porch and got drunk. On the seventh day I remembered the picture of you kissing ali on your couch. On the eighth day I stayed up screaming into my pillow and throwing up on the side of the road. On the ninth day I laughed without you. On the tenth day I kept looking for reasons to call you but I ignored the urge. On the eleventh day I had a nice dream but I cried until my stomach heaved itself up and I slept next to the toliet in case those nasty dreams came back. On the twelfth day I released why Is heartbreak so goddamn romantic after standing outside of your apartment because there's nothing pretty about loosing feelings in your knuckles after squeezing my hands so tight to keep from texting you. On day 13 I could never squeeze them tight enough; I could have never imagined you'd be so good at actually let me fade like this.
On the fourteenth day the doubt makes my spine feel less like vertebrate and more like a giant icicle (you never loved me)
On the 15th day I found out that you replaced me with ali and it flicked my bruises but my ribs didn't break.
On the sixteenth day I finally told everyone about you. They said you were stupid for leaving but I think you were stupid for staying the first time you sliced my heart on the side of the road making me fall in love with you. On the 17th night I didn't think about you for an entire night because I was drunk in bed with someone else. On the 18th day I asked what color your eyes? were how big were your hands? Where was that freckle right above your eye on your face I use to look at before I fell asleep? Day 19 came and I felt my chest beating faster and faster and it felt like my heart was in a cage and wanted to breakout because of everything I put it through. On the 20th day I realized it was your birthday and I realized there was a month till your birthday I'm sorry and so sorry. On day 21 I realized you were a bad habit that I couldn't break.

EZRAS POV:
I woke up at 8am drunk over the thought of you. I went to check out and leave and finally get where I was going. I drove for a few more hours till I reached it. I got there checked in with the admittance office and went to my new apartment right off the campus. I took all the boxes in and school started back in two days and I couldn't wait. Maybe these 2am thoughts will finally leave. Once I took my boxes up there I drove to walk around this new city and see what there is downtown and maybe get something to eat. Like some pie. Pie was always mine and arias favorite thing.

ARIAS POV:
I woke up got dressed to hear a knock at my door. Kate still wasn't up so I walked opened it and a huge smile lit across my face it felt like but I wasn't sure how surprised I was.