Kitten | 18+ {to be edited}

Twenty-seven

Ava

The last week have been rough. I had become so attached to James and being in his presence that I felt so alone. I couldn't help but wonder if I made a mistake leaving that day.

But there was too many question marks in our relationship, so many things that needed to be said. And yet here I was doing the exact opposite. I sighed and turned another page of the book I held up over my face. It was raining outside my window, only reminding me even more of what happened.

My head couldn't take in the words on the pages, they blurred before my eyes and I had been reading the same sentence for fifteen minutes now.

I had barely left my room, only lying on my bed by myself. I thought the silence would help me figure out what I wanted, and give me a clearer view on things, but I soon found out that it was the silence that devoured me.

My parents had no idea, of course, and neither did my friends, well except Emily and Jacob. They had both been extremely supportive, Jacob hanging out with me as much as he could to fill the void of him. But I could still see his face every time I closed my eyes, feel his touch, and I even felt my body missing him, not just my mind.

I hadn't only left him because I didn't fully trust him, but because being with him was dangerous. That night when he killed that man right in front of me made me realize that. What happens if our relationship puts my parents in danger, or even my friends?

Being involved in the mafia was a big risk, especially for a woman. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to take it.

-

It was now three weeks since I last saw him. We haven't had any contact at all. I blocked his number when he called or texted. I was weak for him, I knew that, and I needed some space from all the Don crap.

But I missed him so much my heart ached.

My parents was worried, and even though I only told them that I was sick from the stomach flu, I knew they sensed that it was something else.

I thought that the worst type of alone was in a room filled with people, but the worst type of alone is when you can't even feel comfortable in your own company, because a part of you belongs to someone else.

-

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