orders || levi x oc

seventeen.

I was currently alone in the mess hall. The rest of the squad and I had just finished supper after a days worth of training. Slowly, they left one by one, to go wash up and get some sleep before the same routine tomorrow.

I had an elbow propped upon the wooden tabletop, chin rested in hand. I allowed my mind to drift off, trying to enjoy the small amount of time I had to myself.

That was until a pair of hand met my shoulders, which nearly made me fall off of my seat.

"Emelie! How is everything?"

I turned to see Hange taking a seat beside me. "Alright."

"How's the squad, and training?"

I let out a chuckle at her sudden questions. "Hange, you're talking to me as if you haven't seen me in ages. I literally saw you just the other day."

"Mhm. And speaking of the other day..." she propped both her elbows on the table, resting her chin to mirror me. "...some little birdie told me you persuaded Levi to go on the squad's outing to the orphanage? Is this true?"

I let out half of a laugh before shaking my head, "Why is everyone making this such a big deal?"

"Because it is a big deal." Hange emphasized before nearing my face. "You and the captain have grown quite inseparable now, haven't you?"

I cleared my throat out of nervousness, as her eyes narrowed at me in suspicion. "Erwin and I have seen the way you two act when together."

I shifted in my seat as I felt the heat spread to my ears. The smirk on her face was enough to let me know she had seen right through my cover.

"Bingo." she sat back, folding her arms across her chest. "So, where do the two of you stand?"

I answered with a shake of my head. "I haven't told him anything yet..."

"Oh?" the smile fell from her lips and she looked quite disappointed. "Why is that?"

"Hange, he's my captain."

She gave me an unimpressed stare, "Now that's just an excuse."

My brows furrowed, suddenly growing defensive against Hange's unexpected bluntness.

"He doesn't have time for—" I stopped, trying to continue despite being flustered, "He has bigger things to focus on, he's Humanity's Strongest."

Hange shook her head at my reasoning, giving me a reassuring smile. "Even Humanity's Strongest has feelings. He's also human. Just like me and just like you."

—

The knock on his door stopped him from writing the report he was currently working on. He looked at the clock and he didn't even need to ask who it was.

"Come in."

As expected, Emelie entered his office with the usual: food and freshly brewed tea.

"Eat, while it's still hot." she set the tray in front of him before taking a seat in the chair opposite his desk.

Right away, he noticed there was something... off. Emelie usually poured herself a cup of tea while he was eating his meal. Today, she stayed in her seat. She would usually talk about her day, but she remained silent. He continued away at the soup in front of him, brow furrowing at her odd behavior.

Her eyes were alert, she didn't look tired. She sat still, but was breathing—from what he saw—normally. So, he didn't say anything about it. He just sat in his chair, mindlessly stirring around his soup.

"Levi. I have something to tell you."

He brought his head up at the sound of her voice, "Yes, what is it."

He watched her take in a steady breath, blink a few times before coming to meet his eyes. "I care about you... and more than just the camaraderie type of way. I guess I hadn't made it obvious enough."

He nearly dropped his spoon when he heard the words fall from her lips.

"Me?" he repeated as if he needed some sort of reassurance.

He was met by a small dip of her chin before she tore her gaze away from him and down to her lap.

He wasn't stupid. He caught on to her actions around him. At first he thought nothing of it, brushing it to the side and thinking it was just her way of being a loyal soldier. But, he sensed when it changed from loyalty to affection. He knew there was something there, but he never imagined she would just say it like this.

And now, he didn't know how to respond, his mind immediately going into overdrive.

He wished she didn't say this. But, it wasn't because he didn't feel something for her. He always had his eye on her, on and off the training grounds and expeditions, during experiments, even during that fucking ball. It wasn't that he didn't trust her or her actions. He knew she was strong and could handle herself.

All he wanted was for her to be safe.

In all honesty, among his squad, he seemed to have this soft spot for her. One that he would never admit to anyone. One he did not voice to anyone, and one he was currently trying to understand himself.

There was no doubt he cared for her.

But, he knew better than to let emotions get in the way. He was aware of the way they were living, that it had no space for any of this. They were scouts. Him, a captain; dedicated to the regiment and to saving humanity. And Emelie, she was a member on his squad. Living the way they were, with the unpredictability in everyday and the unknowns involved... even if he did care for her... there was no place for this.

Despite the dreadful tension building up in his office, he took in a breath as he stared at the girl sitting before his desk. "I'll let you leave, and will not have this be considered insubordination."

She lifted her head slowly to meet his eyes as he watched all the color leave her face. She began averting her eyes elsewhere, on anything around his office except for him.

What had made it even worse was that she wasn't leaving.

His little patience allowed her only another second before he clenched his jaw, enough to cause the veins by his temples to twitch. "Emelie. You need to leave."

Her eyes made their way back to his as he watched her lips part, almost as if she wanted to speak, though no words came.

He didn't blink, his eyes still holding onto her. "That's an order."

His voice raised slightly and he was surprised to see her sitting there, posture as straight as ever. She didn't flinch, she didn't tremble, she didn't cry. There were no tears threatening to fall, and he only credited himself for conditioning her to do so.

Nevertheless, he saw it in her eyes.

The hurt and a sense of brokenness.

All caused by him.

—

We held stares, his eyes blank as they usually were.

I swallowed the lump beginning to form in my throat as I rose from my chair, "I'm sorry for disturbing you, Captain."

I left his room as told and went straight to my quarters. I sat down on my bed, elbows on my knees, my hands clutching either side of my head. No tears came. It was almost as if I had expected this to happen.

Even through the heartbreak, I tried to understand. But, I was certain of one thing... and I hated that Levi was right.

There truly were things worse than bruises.