Chapter 16: New Home

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𝕱𝖆𝖑𝖑 quickly turns to winter, and cold winds strip the branches in the palace gardens bare. Our table is still laden with fresh fruit and flowers furnished from the Grisha hothouses, where we make our own weather. But even juicy plums and purple grapes do little to improve my sister's appetite.

Even though I told her about the Darkling's plan to get us amplifiers, there is still no change in her. She stumbles back to our room with tales of her failure with Baghra. Despite me trying to convince her that she is truly a Grisha, Alina just doesn't believe it.

If anything, her attitude has turned from hopeless to lazy. I hate thinking about my twin like this but there really is no other way to say it. She avoids practicing with me and the other Summoners but it seems to bother her less than before. Alina has given up in order to wait for an amplifier.

Her new attitude infuriates Baghra who loves to take it out on me as well.

"Your sister isn't even trying anymore!" she shouts. "She's waiting for some magical deer to come save her. For her pretty necklace. I keep telling her she's a stupid thing. If you start acting like her, my cane will be the least of your worries, girl."

When she starts railing at me, I just shrug. She is right. Alina is tired of failure. Regardless, I always give Baghra sass right back.

One day Zoya returns to the Little Palace but surprisingly she ignores my twin and me. She's also been barred from the training rooms, and I hear that she will be returning to Kribirsk after the winter fete. Occasionally, I catch her glaring at me or giggling behind her hand with her little group of Summoner friends, but I always send her a cool smirk back.

When the first snow fell, I woke to find two new keftas waiting for my sister and me at our door. They are made of heavy wool, blue for Alina and black for me, and have hoods lined in thick fur. I put it on and once again feel a rush of belonging. My twin does not.

Today after leaving Baghra's cottage, I ran into Alina on the gravel path near the lake. She's crumpling up a letter of some sort.

"What's going on, Lina? Are you okay?" I gently ask.

My sister fills me in on what Genya said in her note. She tells me how she feels about Mal's failure to write back. How sick she is of this whole situation. How she feels like she has no one.

"Alina, you still have me. You always will. Remember the day of the testing?"

She nods.

"I know you pushed your powers down. We both know the Grisha woman in red was an amplifier. Ever since you've never looked or felt the same. I know the feeling because I knew I was Grisha long before the testers came."

Alina looks surprised, "You did? Why didn't you tell me?"

"The same reason you hid a part of yourself away. You did so to stay with Mal. I did it to stay with you. I clawed my nails into my hand to let the pain distract me from the call."

My twin shakes her head, "Where are you going with this, Svetlana?"

I smile and gently continue, "You've been hiding, denying a piece of yourself, all for Mal. He's not here with you anymore. There's no reason to keep hiding. I'm here. Your power is with you. It's time to let go of the past."

Alina still seems angry but I can tell that I got through to her, Baghra can handle the rest. Without another word, she storms into the hut. I sit down on the grass and wait. After an unknown amount of time, I see slivers of light blast out from the cracks of the door. Only then do I stand and make my way towards the Darkling's quarters.

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