Chapter 26: Mourn for the Lost

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𝕸𝖞 eyes flutter open and I automatically reach out for the man I expect to be sleeping beside me. But all I grasp is air.

I sit up and find Alina and Mal, asleep in each other's arms.

The tears start.

It was all a dream.

We didn't get our happily ever after.

He's gone.

A shaky hand drifts to my abdomen.

They're gone.

Despite my best efforts, sobs wrack me. I tried to not think too much about the fact that I was pregnant for the past month - it was too hard. But this? This is harder.

My sister wakes to the sound of them. Without a word, she rushes to me and pulls me into her. Even though I should hate her, I can't. I soak in the comfort she offers until the tears dry and all I'm left with is a bitter emptiness.

"Tell me," I demand through the scratchiness in my throat.

Surprisingly, almost everything that I dreamed of took place. The only difference beyond my losses is that the Fold isn't completely gone.

"There's something else," my twin mutters.

I nod, "You want to leave. Sankta Alina died on the Fold."

Her mouth pops open before she shuts it. "How did you know?"

"You're my sister."

She fiddles with her fingers and glances away quickly, "Are you okay with that?"

I try my best to smile but I know it doesn't reach my eyes, "Yes, it's your choice."

Alina beams and then hugs me again. When she steps back, she asks, "Do you want to do the same? Come with Mal and I?"

I sigh and gently grab her hand. She sits down in a chair next to my bed, "Alina, I will always love you. But right now you have everything you want. You have the man you love and you no longer have the burden of your powers. You're free to live as you choose. Me? I have lost my love. I have lost my children. I still have my powers. Unlike you, I will embrace my gift and I would never want to live without it. I can't just turn away from Ravka if I can help."

She's crying now, "You need to help people, I get it."

"Yes."

"Will you visit us?"

I try my best to look genuine, "Of course, but I need time. I'm not yet ready to forgive you."

"But you will?"

"You know I will."

She embraces me again, this time making it last. Mal does the same after her. Then they walk out of the door to give me space.

My eyes fixate on the shadows in the corner of the room, hoping that Aleksander will emerge from them and spout some nonsense about him being eternal. But he doesn't. He's gone, even if my heart doesn't quite believe it.

I don't know how much time passes before Nikolai enters. He takes the lone chair.

"Lana."

I smile, this one a bit more believable, "Nikolai, I'm glad to see that you're alright."

He returns my gesture, though I can see that a new darkness lingers in his hazel orbs. We're silent for a moment. Then he says, "Thank you, my friend. For never giving up on me."

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