Forbidden Love- Rick Grimes Love story

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Long chapter warning!!
Mads POV (Few months later)
I sat in the middle of the woods, alone. The days have only gotten harder. I missed him, I honestly missed him so much. "You gonna sit here all day?" The figure asked me and I rolled my eyes, "Go to hell Shane." I hear him laugh and it makes me smile a bit, "There's that beautiful smile." I laughed, "You're such a cheeseball." "You know they're worried about you." He says kneeling down to me. I roll my eyes, "Yeah, well they can go to hell too." He sighs, "Come on, you don't mean that." A tear rolls down my face, "I miss you." A branch snapping forces me to jump up and point my gun out. At the end of my gun is Rick, I sigh lowering my gun, "You know I come out here to get away from you all." Rick sighs, "Joey's worried about you, and honestly so I am." I laugh, "Well it's a good thing I'm not your problem." I go to walk away and Rick grabs my wrist, "Don't you touch me." He quickly lets go and sighs, "Madison can we talk please?" I nod, "You wanna talk? Go ahead and talk Rick." "I had to. I need you to know that I had to." Rick says softly. I scoff, "That all?" He shakes his head grabbing my hand, but I pull away, "Madison, I'm sorry, but you're not the only one who lost someone that night." I shake my head, "No. You don't get to do that Rick. You don't get to make me feel like I'm being selfish. You killed him, he was my husband, Joey's father." "You don't have to remind me every time I see you. Mads I want us to be okay again, to be us again." I scoff, "Rick, I honestly hope to God that you'll never lose Lori. That you'll never have to feel the way I feel now. When Shane died it felt like he took a piece of me with him. When you feel like that, then we'll talk." I walk away from him back to the group.

"We get out of the 15, you're on point." Rick orders Carl as we get out of the cars. I place a map on the hood of one of our cars looking over it to see there is no place we haven't picked through or that has massive herds of walkers. "We got no place left to go." I say softly. "When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off. We'll never make it South." Maggie says pointing to the two herds labeled on the map. "What would you say? That was about 150 head?" Daryl asks. I sigh, "That was last week. It could be twice or triple that by now." "This river could have delayed them. If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there." Hershel said pointing to the river. "Yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way." T-Dog points out. I run a hand through my hair and sigh, "So we're blocked." Rick joins us looking at the map, "Only thing to do is double back at 27 and swing towards Greenville." T-Dog scoffs, "Yeah, we picked through that already. It's like we spent the winter going in circles." I laugh, "Sounds like you want us to continue to go in circles, Rick." He gives me an annoyed look before looking to T-Dog, "Yeah, I know. I know. At Newnan we'll push west. Haven't  been through there yet. We can't keep going house to house. Need to find someplace to hole up for a few weeks." T-Dog nods, "All right. It cool if we get to the creek before we head out? Won't take long. We got to fill up on water. We can boil it later." Rick sighs, "Knock yourself out."

T-Dog and I were the first to head to the creek. "What's your problem today?" He asks me and I laugh, "Are you saying I have a problem everyday?" He shook his head, "Nah, you just used to be so close to Rick, now it's like you're strangers." I scoff, "That's what happens when he kills your husband. I don't know anyone who would be okay with that." He sighs, "Mads, you gotta move on. I spent so long being mad at Jacqui for the decision she made, that I forgot all the good times we had. She wasn't built for this world and I hated that. But then I realize, Jacqui wouldn't have to suffer everyday in a world she didn't want to live in." I nod, "It hurts T. It still hurts, I held him in my arms as he died. My clothes are still covered in his blood, Joey looks more like him every single day." T-Dog looked over at me, "So turn the negatives into positives. Think about the good times." I think back to the day Shane had first proposed, which was the day I had Joey and I laugh, "My parent were super religious, and they hated the fact that I was having a baby at 16. They kicked me out, and I moved in with Shane and his parents." T-Dog looked at me with sad eyes, "Damn Mads, I'm sorry." I shake my head, "Don't be. Joey's amazing, it's their lost they never met her. But anyways there I was after pushing out a 6 pound baby, Shane thought it would be a great idea to propose. Painful tears running down my face, the doctor doing stitches, and that idiot drops down on one knee with our daughter in his arms and says 'Will you marry us?'" T-Dog laughs, "And what did you say?" "I told him to give me my baby, then I said yes. We were engaged for four years until we got married. He kept asking, and asking when we would get married, and I'd always say we were too young." We finally got to the creek and started filling our bottles. "So now what about Rick? There's gotta be one happy memory." He asks and I nod, "When we were kids, Rick and I had this treehouse, we were a little older than Joey and Carl, but we would go there everyday after school. One day the kids at school were making fun of Rick for never having his first kiss. I joked with him about lying like I did, tell them you did it ya know? Well Rick went on and on about how he wished people didn't make a big deal about the bases, and wished he could just get over it. So I walked over and kissed him telling him to man up and get over it." T-Dog laughs, "So Rick Grimes was your first kiss?" I nod with a small smile, "Yeah he was." "Promise me you'll have a real conversation with him." T-Dog begs and I nod.