You don't have a clue [Ziall fanfic]

Chapter 23- Day 1

Niall

I flinched when a creaking noise echoed off the walls of my room as the door was opened. The streak of light invading my room, I buried himself deeper into my blankets. My eyelids were heavy with sleep yet sleep couldn’t take over me. When I did sleep it would be for a small amount of time before I was plagued with dreams that ended up jolting me awake. You know the kind that always ends up with you dying and it’s just an involuntary movement when you automatically wake up. A fear that just travels through your veins and makes goosebumps rise on the back of your neck. It happens every time I close my eyes. I always wake up around the same time, the same dream, that same damn tragedy.

My limbs are completely limp on the cold tile floor and even if I did want to get up it was as if I was chained to the floor. The yelling and cheering around me fade and even my heart beat slows down. My heads leaning on the ground with a streak of blood traveling from my brow down as my eyes glass over. I’m looking at the only pair of feet walking opposite of me and it seems like the only noise I hear is his footsteps as he walks through the double doors and I see my lips moving but  it’s like the voice sounds weak, heart wrenching, pathetic, and just not me. Not the person I used to be. He whispers Zayn.

Then I just wake up with a cold sweat and my heart beating erratically.

I feel shifting on the bed as my mom sits next to me and I feel her comforting hand rub my shoulder. “Nialler, baby? Feel up to going to school?”

I stare past her and at the wall as I shake my head, I can’t go back there. I won’t be able to deal with everything.

“Alright, you do what you have to do. You can take all the time you want, Niall. I tried my hardest to get today off, but my boss just won’t let me. I left breakfast on the table if you feel up to it, alright?”

I nod and close my eyes as she kisses my temple before leaving my room and  closing  the door behind her, leaving me in complete darkness.

I shift in my bed until I’m staring at the ceiling and my mind drifts off to all the good things that’s happened between us. But why does that only make me feel worse? I burst out laughing as I run a hand through my hair and sit up in my bed.

“There is no reason to feel this way... pull yourself together, Horan.” I said to myself as I wrap my arms around myself. It was bound to happen right? He hated you, everyone hated you and if he wasn’t the one pulling a prank it was going to be someone else. I shouldn’t be surprised that he didn’t believe me, we’ve only been together for a few months and you shouldn’t have fallen victim to love. How pathetic.

How easy it is for things to change in a blink of an eye.

When I walk into the kitchen I’m overwhelmed by the smell of my favorite meal. If it was any other day I would have jumped at the opportunity, but I haven’t eaten in two days and the smell makes my stomach churn. I take the plate out of the microwave and sit at the table where I poured myself a glass of water and brought the sausage to my mouth and take a large bite when my body freezes and my eyes go wide.

Flashback:

I’m thrown onto the bed by someone and my head is pounding. My vision is blurring and fading in and out of consciousness. The voices are distant but I see three figures, two of them who look to be girls and a guy on the far end of the room eating out of what looks to me a take out container.

“Are you seriously eating right now? Hurry up and get into bed.” Girl number one yells and he puts down the container and I feel the bed dip with the weight of him. My heart speeds up and I swear it feels like i’m going into cardiac arrest. A small whimper escapes through my lips as he takes my shirt off and starts to unbutton my pants.