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Sometimes, she doesn't look at the mirror. For she hated the way she looked, and her insecurities got the best of her.
She had those days when she listens to music and cry until her eyes were dry. Her heart hurting as tears drop one by one. (Y/N) wanted to tell her parents all about her sad sh-t but she was afraid they'd think she was overreacting.
She'd laugh bitterly as she cries, asking the question to herself; what if she was just overreacting? She needs to get ahold of herself.
Should she get a therapist? She has been hearing that in the story. Well if she does go to one, her whole family will be snooping about it.
Jealous, she was jealous of everyone else. They looked so happy, they had their life together. While she is here, drowning in negative thoughts and never-ending tears.
When was this going to end?
「★」
When she got to school, she was greeted by students staring at her. They always do this, and it gets into her head. Those eyes burning down her back that judged her silently, or so she was thinking. It was always like that, they all judged her back in Lambda.
Those stares for her were depicted as judging. People always judged silently. This was why she didn't like going anywhere.
She was practically made fun for no reason. Some girl in the school spread rumors about her just because she was ugly; which was true honestly. And because of what happened, she was avoided because the rumor circulated to nonsense. Resulting for her to be alone and sometimes people would joke on being friends with her and leave her alone after. Her trust issues were problematic, but she trusted people so easily.
As a child, she wasn't that good-looking. And until now, she feels that she still wasn't enough for the standards of th society.
Whenever she sees herself in the mirror, she immediately sees all of her flaws. Always comparing herself to other people she doesn't know. At school, she saw people having the greatest things. They were so lucky to look so perfect.
Everytime those people walk by, she feels so down and degrades herself as she compares herself to them; and she doesn't even know them.
Sometimes, she would feel her chest tighten and her mood would go down. Not that she wasn't always down but it would make her go numb just like every other night. Tears threaten to spill out but she forces them in, she wasn't that pathetic.
But she bottles up her emotions for so long, that when she lets it out it was much more painful than when she held it in.
Enough of her sob story, thinking of all of the things that made her f-cked up is making her mood go down. Once she got into the class, she was greeted by chattering students and a sleeping teacher. Well ain't homeroom just great?
After classes were over, she went to the cafeteria to get some lunch for her. And after getting lunch she'll just go up to the rooftop and eat.
Luckily for her she avoided Norman throughout half of the day. Hopefully she will continue to avoid him until this afternoon; she just didn't want to see him at all.
But when she glanced to the side, she saw Norman and his group eating and laughing. That girl with the green glasses and the boy who called her senior; assuming they were both first years. And then there's Emma, with a bright smile talking with her friends.
The longer she stared, the more (Y/N) realized she could never compare to someone she was only based on.
She wasn't supposed to feel resentment to someone so kind and sweet. Ignoring her negative thoughts, she brings her lunch and walks towards the exit.
「★」
"Well aren't those eyebags just so big?" Ray scoffed, standing in front of her.
(Y/N) lazily glared, flipping the book's page harshly. She really hated the boy's comments, even though she picks on him too. She wasn't in the mood right now. Wait, did she look really horrible right now?
Ray stared at her for a moment. "Aren't you going to get up?"
"What?" She whined, looking up at him.
"We're practicing, idiot. It's going to be the talent show in three days." Ray said, flicking her forehead.
She widened her eyes and immediately realized it was really in three days. "Sh-t, you're right."
"You forgot? Didn't know you could be so forgetful." Ray teased, a little smile tugging his lips.
"Shut up." (Y/N) grumbled, taking her stuff into the bag.
Ray raised his eyebrows at the girl, planning to rile her up even more. "Shut up, is that the only thing you can say (Y/N)?" he said, mocking her.
"Drop it, emo boy." (Y/N) said, not taking any of his crap today.
Ray scoffed, turning towards the exit. "Alright, let's go panda."
"Panda?" (Y/N) glared at him, her fists curling up in anger. Was this boy testing her right now? She wasn't in the mood.
"You know, eyebags, panda?" Ray explained, making (Y/N) look at him in shock and surprise.
"Oh, so you make fun of my eyebags now?" (Y/N) asked.
"You're not the only one who can make fun of someone else, panda." Ray teased even more.
"Right, because I can't see those eyebags under your thick hair?" (Y/N) fired back.
"For your information, I sleep on time." Ray glared back.
"Oh, how to be you sir?" (Y/N) dramatically said, rolling her eyes.
"You should sleep on time so I wouldn't have to call you a panda, (Y/N)." Ray said.
"Well you should drop that emo phase and cut your hair so I wouldn't have to call you emo boy, Ray." (Y/N) aggressively smiled while he looked at her in vexation.
And so their bickering continued on until they got by their destination. Yup, thought he was someone she could actually get along with but well fate really said no friends for her. But she did kind of deserved it, though that doesn't mean she'll stop getting back at him.
A/N:
I'm actually alive so..
ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE 7K READS I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
And I have come to realize that my fic is becoming er cringe-
But that doesn't stop me from writing, I SWEAR I'LL GET BETTER.
Anyway thanks for waiting for this chapter and stay tuned for the next one! The talent show's coming up in four different parts starting in the next two chapters I suppose?
