Saiouma Oneshots

Anxious Abandonment

Im venting here-

Shuichi's POV:

Today was a long day. I just wanna get home to Kokichi. I press on the gas slightly, seeing as the time is past ten at night. I hate leaving Kokichi alone at night. When he's alone with his thoughts, he overthinks, and goes into a full panic. I feel bad because he has really bad anxiety, but he doesn't let anyone see it. He suffers in silence, and its horrible, but at least he has me.

I walk up to our apartment, and unlock the door before entering, a few files in hand. "Kichi, I'm home!" I exclaim. I hear nothing in response. That's odd...

Normally I hear Kokichi's pitter patter before he latches onto me. I set my things down, and walk to the bedroom. I hear small sniffles coming from the other side of the bedroom door.

"Why do people want this!? God, this isn't a fucking trend! It's not funny! I wish I never had this!" Kokichi's sobs grow louder as I hear pacing as well. I gently open the door since it's unlocked. "I'm tired of people leaving me. I wish she never moved!"

"Sweetheart?" I say gently. Kokichi head snaps over at me.

"And where have you been?! I thought you left me! You weren't answering your cell, your side of the closet is almost empty, and your spare keys aren't on the table anymore!" Kokichi cries, walking over to me. I pull him into my chest, and he clings onto me, sobbing.

"Shh, darling, my phone's dead, and I did laundry before I left this morning. My keys are now in my desk at work. I had an incident last week where I couldn't get in my car." I explain, at least trying to soothe Kokichi. I rub circles on his back as he tries calms down.

"I miss Angie." Kokichi whimpers, his eyes shutting tightly. I gently lift Kokichi, and walk us over to the bed. I sit against the headboard, holding Kokichi in my lap.

"I know you do, but she had to go. You wouldn't want Angie to miss out on her major art break through." I reply, rocking slightly.

"I wish she was here, but I do need to let her live her life." Kokichi replies, holding onto me. Kokichi and Angie were best friends, but then Angie made a break through in her art, and needed to go all the way to Austrailia. He went to either Angie, or myself about everything. I had to be there for Kokichi when she left, but it was hard. Kokichi didn't want to do anything except cry on the couch, sleep, and breathe. I couldn't get him to eat until I bribed him with ice cream! Kokichi wanted Angie to see him smile one last time before she didn't see him for possibly years, so he kept a brave face on the entire time at the airport.

"It's all going to fine. You're fine! It's all just your thoughts. Take a few deep breaths, and try to relax." I tell the shaking boy. I stroke his fluffy, purple hair before placing a kiss on his forehead. Kokichi takes deep breaths, and tries to settle down.

"There, that's it, love. I'm so sorry I came back late. I was running late, and I tried to get out of there, but it didn't work." I apologize, kissing his tears away.

"It's okay..." Kokichi trails off, his heart rate slowing. I slowly move under the covers, repositioning into a laying position. I hold Kokichi close to my chest, planting kisses on the side of his head until he calms down completely.

"There, it's alright." I whisper to the smaller boy. I feel awful that Kokichi goes through this. His severe anxiety mixed with major abandonment issues, doesn't go over well. He's always overthinking, and normally it's not this bad, but tonight he was scared about me leaving him. That means that he felt abandoned which makes things ten times worse. I wish Kokichi never knew pain, but unfortunately, he does know pain. He knows too much pain.

"I'm okay." Kokichi replies, wiping his tear tracks. I continue to play with his purple locks, occasionally kissing his forhead.

"That's right. You're perfectly fine, and I'm never leaving you, ever." I reassure the smaller. Kokichi nods before kissing me gently.

"Thank you." Kokichi mutters. Smiling, I shake my head at him.

"You never have to thank me for being here. I'm choosing to be here with you because I love you." I reply, closing my eyes. Kokichi smiles the brightest smile the world has ever seen. "I'm gonna call off work tomorrow, and we're gonna go to the mall, go shopping, get food, and then get ice cream."

Kokichi beams, reaching over to turn the lamp off. "I love you; so much."

"I love you too, Kichi. Now go to sleep, love, I don't want you to be tired." I tell Kokichi, holding his head in my chest. I kiss the top of his head before trying to drift to sleep.

Some time passes before I hear Kokichi speak in a low voice. "We should get married. We could adopt two kids, a girl and a boy, and we could move into a big house with a big back yard where the kids can play. I know you're asleep, and probably will never hear this, but that's okay. You already know I love you."

I can't hold back my smile as my grip on Kokichi tightens. "We can do that..." I whisper. I can practically feel the embarrassment radiating from Kokichi. "I didn't say that, you heard nothing." He says quickly. I laugh at his embarrassment before closing my eyes again.

      The next morning, the aroma of pancakes hit my nose. I sit up and stretch before heading out of the bedroom. Following the scent, I wind up in the kitchen. Kokichi wears an apron, and his hair's kind of frizzy. He hasn't gotten dressed yet, so he's still in one of my shirts, and a pair of shorts. I walk up to Kokichi, and snake my arms around his waist. "This smells amazing, Kichi." I compliment as I pepper kisses up and down his neck. 

"Thanks, Shumai." Kokichi replies, giggling slightly. He flips another pancake before reaching for the top cupboard for a plate. His small arms can't quite reach it. "Want some help?" I ask. Kokichi huffs before nodding.

I chuckle and grab him a plate from the cupboard. Kokichi grabs it before placing each pancake on the plate. "You made these with M&Ms right?" I ask.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't thery be?"

"Remember the time you put skittles in them instea-."

"Shhh! We don't talk about it." Kokichi replies, bringing the pancakes to the table. I laugh and sit down across from Kokichi.

We talk over breakfast before getting ready for the day. Just as I promised, I take Kokichi out to the mall where he went on a spree at Hot Topic, got too much candy from the little candy store, and we both got build a bears. We also made the bears get married. After that, we went out for ice cream, and Kokichi and myself were happy. I'm glad I'm able to help Kokichi when he's stressed. He lives with this horrible anxiety, but he doesn't know how to tell anyone. At least he's with me, and I can provide some relief. I really do love him...