twilight imagines.

years of solitude, gone. (j. hale.)

{request for: juptersmoons <33}

all i could focus on was the rushing wind against my face.
the entire world suddenly seemed small and inconsequential in this moment;
this moment where i was bigger than anything to step foot on this earth.
i couldn't help but let out a laugh of delirium.
i had, yet again, managed to go undetected and escape the threats of both the wolves and vampires of forks.
how it fed my ego,
being able to bounce around their treaty line and cause mayhem without a trace to leave behind.
tensions were rising between the two,
but what did it matter to me?
i didn't belong here;
i'd forever be a mere mistake in their eyes.
a larger part of me, bigger than i'm willing to admit, found joy in being the sole source of these tensions:
i was jealous.
jealous of their tight-knit relationships,
a family of flaws coming together to accept their being.
i'd been alone for as long as i can remember.
one would think i'd be used to it by now.
but i still found myself wallowing away in this loneliness,
wishing i had just one person to share my life with.
all of these thoughts were bashing around in my mind,
now creating a headache in the base of my skull as i walked inside of my house.
it was small,
created only for solidity and minimal comfort.
as i leaned up against the kitchen cabinet,
i noticed spilled blood wedged into my fingernails.
it was dried up already,
creating a grim souvenir from my earlier kill.
i couldn't help but grin as i cleaned it out with the point of a knife.
it created great entertainment.
no matter how guilty i would feel tonight,
sick with stolen, bitter blood,
at least it had been fun for the time being.
a wave of heat rolled over me,
causing me to lurch over and my muscles to spasm.
the change that always followed a hunt;
a transformation i couldn't escape so long as i craved blood.
my canines became sore as they grew to sharper points,
my body aching in a weak attempt to stop myself from switching.
i just couldn't.
i could hear my own pathetic whines as i paced around the much too small living room,
my nails making pattering sounds to follow.
if i could only suppress this guilt,
my heart would relax and i could come back.
the longer i thought about it,
the more this transition began to solidify.
a vampire werewolf hybrid.
i thought to myself with a thick rap of shame.
how humiliating.
i decided that,
so long as i was going to be in this wolf form,
it should be spent running and getting necessary exercise.
despite having just chased down an innocent hiker earlier,
the other half of me rarely hunted,
only ever ran.
i coursed through the woods with the same wind rushing through me,
fueling me for every new step.
until i stopped abruptly,
having heard voices nearby:
"carlisle said whoever it was would be here."
"well...it's not looking like they're here, huh?"
"what do we do?"
i didn't stop long enough to hear the answer.
i heard enough to know that i was being chased;
my weakened moment,
my mistake in hunting a human,
had gotten me caught.
i was used to being sought out,
this much was familiar.
though i had never been so vulnerable during.
i turned on my feet to begin running back home before i could be caught,
but i had been too late.
a man of burly stature jumped from the cliff adjacent to me and knocked me to my side.
i began to thank these fast healing qualities of mine;
i could feel the splintering of the bones in my body.
i hadn't realized i shifted back.
"what the hell..."
i grabbed the side of my body,
letting out a cry as it healed itself rather slowly.
a jacket draped itself across my bare body,
sending a ripple of sweet scent to my nose.
when i finally opened my eyes,
three figures stood before me.
the one who tackled me,
the bastard,
stood with his muscular arms crossed against his chest and a confused look.
the one in the middle stood with the same painted expression,
oddly still and stoic.
then the last figure,
his eyes softening like he could feel the shame echoing inside of my body.
"we need to take her to carlisle,"
he finally said after a moments passed.
"you're not taking me anywhere,"
i objected,
sitting up carefully and wrapping the jacket around me.
"i appreciate the, uh, kind gesture here."
i made a point of showing the jacket.
"but you're not kidnapping me."
"we wouldn't be kidnapping you. it's in your best interest, believe me,"
said the boy with the kind eyes.
i couldn't help but feel a natural draw to him.
as though maybe he were right;
a sudden rise to trust in him poked at me.
"why should i?"
"because if we don't take you, the wolves will. and i doubt they'll let you live long enough to speak."
i let out a breath that almost burned my lungs,
then slowly climbed to my feet.
my legs were unstable,
shaking to a point where i feared falling over.
but before any of that could happen,
the boy who hadn't taken his gentle gaze off of me yet wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me upright.
"you're okay, i've got you."
"lucky me,"
i whispered under my breath in a heavily sarcastic tone.
"what's your name?"
"y/n...you?"
"i'm jasper hale. pleasure."
i had to suppress the scoff threatening to slip past my lips.
the travel to wherever carlisle lived was short.
i had spaced out for most of it,
wondering what my life had come to and why.
"are you okay?"
when my eyes focused again,
i was staring at someone completely different in a completely different room.
"you're carlisle?"
"that's me."
i nodded in understanding then shrugged my shoulders to his prior question.
"i'm fine."
"you're a hybrid, aren't you?"
there was no point in lying.
"yeah."
"interesting."
"mm, that's one way of putting it."
i directed my attention towards the outside of the house,
noticing the trees that lingered around and shielded them from the rest of the community.
"you needn't worry. we're harmless."
i didn't say anything in return.
my tongue was too dry,
trying to choke back this rising anger.
carlisle then left the room to myself.
the thoughts rushed to me in a tenfold,
slamming around and causing a serious ache.
"we have to let her stay with us. it's only right."
i stopped myself long enough to focus on the honeyed voice rising in the air.
jasper.
it was interesting to me how vehement he was about me and my safety.
i couldn't help but entertain the idea of his mind being sickened with the effects of wounded bird syndrome.
moments passed and i was being guided into the room where the family had been gathered to discuss my stay or riddance.
how comforting.
"y/n, i'd like you to meet my family. this is my wife, esme. and this is rosalie, alice-"
"it's going to be so fun getting to know you, y/n."
alice's erratic behavior was rather easing;
a smile touched my lips.
"-and you've met emmett, edward, and jasper."
i gave a small wave in greeting,
having been too exhausted to do much else.
"we've agreed that keeping you here is in your best interest and safety. we'd love to have you here so long as you're willing,"
carlisle began with that paternal smile against his lips.
"during your stay, jasper has offered to help you ease into this transition. weaning off of human blood can be difficult, but i believe you'll adapt quicker having the qualities you do."
"right. okay. um...t-thank you. really kind of you."
and so it began:
my stay at the cullen house.
an outsider merging into the family.
***
"you're not concentrating."
"how can i when you're breathing down my neck?"
i defended to a jasper whose hands were currently molded against my hips.
i didn't have the courage to tell him my waver in concentration came from his touch;
his mere presence was enough to make me sheepish.
feeling such enamor for someone after a life of solitude was foreign.
i didn't know how to act around jasper without selling my secret out,
and i didn't think i could handle being around him much longer without bursting at the seams.
all i wanted was to mollify into his arms when the day came to an end and feel the world drown out into complete silence.
but instead,
my reality was painted dull.
"what are you thinking about?"
i turned my head to face jasper who was now inches away from me,
slowly pulling his hands off of me in a moment of curiosity.
i shrugged.
"i don't know. everything."
"is there...something you want to tell me?"
i tensed up at the question.
could it be that jasper felt an inkling of my concealed feelings?
"w-what? why do you ask?"
"just wondering."
i shook my head quicker than i intended.
"no, no. i'm fine. i'm alright."
"alright. we'll pick up here tomorrow."
he gave me a smile to ease my racing nerves;
i'm sure he picked up on my fastened breathing.
jasper then caressed my chin with his index fingers knuckle,
and walked away before i could murmur another word.
not that i could speak anyways,
my heart was pounding into my chest,
words becoming muddled in my head at the memory of his touch so close to the lips that craved him.
his gentle caress left behind a path of hot blush.
inhaling the air around me,
i allowed myself a moment of grounding.
i was being childish,
becoming a cliche.
i was trying to convince myself that these feelings were only conjured up in gratitude;
jasper had saved me in more ways than one, after all.
i climbed to the roof and laid back,
relaxing now that i was alone.
the wind began to pick up,
now brushing against my sweltering skin swiftly.
"i had a vision about you two, you know?"
i jolted upon hearing alice's voice.
i hadn't quite grown accustomed to her silent gait,
tiptoeing around lightly as though she were a mere breeze.
"what? who?"
"you and jasper."
i swallowed the harsh laughter threatening to slip from my throat.
"it was quite romantic. you two, somehow even more beautiful, running around with love percolating from your existence. then you two again, still young with enamor, holding one another like tomorrow might come and rip you away from one another. but, no worries, you two...you two will last forever."
alice's smile was, more often than not, lighthearted.
but seeing it in these moments of repeated visions only made me nervous.
"you're lying...right?"
alice tittered and gave my shoulder a gentle pat.
"i cannot lie about what i see, y/n. do with that what you will."
and with that,
alice was gone with the next gust of wind.
i sighed out in confusion and leaned back again,
soaking in all that alice had told me.
it seemed nearly impossible that jasper and i could ever reach past the casual point of our relationship and be something more;
something beautiful,
something rare,
something that lasts forever.
but alice had seen it,
predicted it,
just like she had many times before.
who am i to deny the obvious aligning of two hearts?
i was beside myself with elation.
i had hope.
pure, unadulterated hope that i could love jasper and he'd love me back.
i climbed back into my room after a few moments of sitting in my bliss,
surprised by the company inside.
jasper was extended to the full length of my bed with a book open in his hands.
he seemed to be so drawn into it,
i worried he hadn't heard of my entrance.
seeing him here,
practically waiting for me,
made my heart skip several beats.
a part of me began to wonder if alice told him of her visions too.
"falling in love...it seems so easy when you're human and have a heart that beats. it fuels your adrenaline, you begin to lust after them, makes you feel..alive. i wonder, though, if we, the supernatural, are capable of love, too."
he took his eyes off of the page to gaze upon me.
i couldn't help but smile beneath those honeyed eyes.
i took a seat on the edge of the bed beside him and shrugged.
"i think we are capable of love. though it's different. somehow more...pure. no endorphins to blind us, no trivial matters to draw us away."
jasper nodded in understanding.
he looked as if he went to speak,
but found the words caught in his throat.
this gave me a moment to admire him in a light that was pure and vulnerable in its own.
after years of feeling alone,
left out,
like i didn't belong,
jasper had made all of it disappear within moments together.
and for that,
i would love him with my life.
jasper seemed to have his own thoughts of admiration because we soon found ourselves meeting in the middle for a kiss that felt long overdue,
but was sweeter with each passing second together.
jasper pulled me closer by my waist,
indulging us further into a moment of fervent devotion.
"yes! yes! i won, i won! pay up, losers!"
jasper and i ripped ourselves away from one another,
despite not wanting to,
to find emmett lingering in the doorway with his boyish smile and pumping fist.
"i won the bet, edward! i won!"
"what bet?"
i called out with a laugh that was building in the back of my throat,
near hysteria from my moment with jasper that i was still dizzy from.
emmett had disappeared before i could receive a reply.
jasper and i erupted into quiet laughter that filled our souls of shimmering vigor;
how beautiful it felt.
jasper laced his hand into mine,
pressing gentle kisses against my knuckles to return our moment of romance.
"they're so childish,"
i said,
using my thumb to brush against his chin.
he laughed and nodded in agreement.
"heard that!"
the voice of emmett called,
causing us both to laugh once more.
one thing was for sure:
alice had been right.
jasper loved me almost nearly as much as i loved him,
we were practically perfect for one another.
but the greatest fact of it all was that jasper and i's love would forever exist.
he leaned in to press another peck to my lips then said,
"you're lucky your heart still beats on the occasion. if mine weren't still, i'm confident it'd race upon your presence."
i was in love.
and finally,
i belonged somewhere.