twilight imagines.

missing puzzle pieces (j. black)

if i had ever truly known love,
it wasn't until i met you.
i loved a lot of things.
my family,
fixing up cars,
the reservation in its entirety.
but the day i met you was the day my heart could beat with purpose.
i had always searched for this feeling,
sought out to have a sole existence outside of my own,
but i would never realize how powerful this feeling was until i began to feel it.
looking at you made the hairs on my body stand.
you were electrifying,
enticing,
and you were the only thing keeping me grounded.
but i don't know what hurt more,
watching you waste your life away or you ignoring my love for you.

it's been a few days since we've talked.
and last i heard of it,
paul saw you and whatever dude you were fixated on this month arguing outside your house.
unfortunately for me,
i had to watch the argument play by play.
i watched as you cowered away from him,
his shouts echoing throughout the streets.
you were afraid he was going to hit you,
and he would've,
if paul hadn't stepped in.
the anger that flooded my veins was nearly venomous.
if i could track him down,
rip his throat out,
and know you'd be happy with me,
i would.
but i know you.
and i know you love too hard.
so hurting this guy would only hurt you more.
and in the end hurt me as well.
i wish you would see, y/n,
that i'm perfect for you.
if you'd just let me show you.
but you have a healing complex,
and because i don't need healing you don't see me as a potential boyfriend.
but you're wrong, y/n,
so wrong.
i know you like your sweatshirts to hang off your body because "it's comforting that way."
i know you hate mornings,
and if you can help it,
you'll stay in the bed till noon.
i know you're allergic to freshly cut grass.
but all of these minor things are just that;
minor.
i also know your mind is full of ways to help the people around you,
even if it means sacrificing yourself.
i know your love language is touch,
though not too much because then you get uncomfortable.
i know how ready you are to please the world,
despite the neglect in your soul.
you're a giver,
never a taker.
it's horrible, y/n,
i can't watch you dim the light within yourself anymore.
i've let it go on for too long,
and i won't sit idly by anymore.

i let the courage force my every step,
but the moment my eyes lock with yours,
i melt.
every solidified thought in my mind turns liquid,
and my heart slams inside my rib cage.
"hey, jacob,"
you croaked out,
your voice obviously strained from the days of crying.
"what happened?"
i ask as i sink into your bed.
you rolled your eyes,
"you know the answer to that. same thing, different day."
i wrap an arm around you and pull you close to my chest,
where your shivering body ceases to tremble once your skin makes contact with mine.
and though i shouldn't,
i smile.
i let the tips of my fingers trail up and down your back and you sigh into my chest.
"i don't know what's wrong with me, jake."
"nothing. you know nothings wrong with you, y/n."
you shrug,
"i guess."
"you accept the love you think you deserve, right? you've been through so much, y/n. i know grown men who couldn't bear to endure what you have. but you've got to stop letting that fester in your relationships. it's unhealthy, you can't heal these people no matter how hard you try."
i notice the tears that stain my chest,
and i see the glisten against your cheeks.
it makes my heart shatter into a million pieces,
knowing you're crying.
"i just...want to be useful,"
you admit through breaths.
and i realize.
you want someone who will be vulnerable with you and allow you to help them,
not completely heal them,
because you're a natural helper.
i suck in a deep breath,
"you are useful, y/n. you have no idea."
i wipe your tears with the palm of my hands and continue,
"you've made me a better man, if i'm honest. before you, i was...terrible. angry all the time, feeling like i was losing my head! so lost in my own thoughts, god y/n, if you hadn't come around i'm sure i would've gotten myself killed by now."
you look up at me with eyes that are pooling with love.
a new sight,
and i feel my breathing lose itself.
"thank you,"
you whisper and i can hear the faint shred of hope in your tone.
"for what? i should be thanking you."
you let your lips spread into that smile that makes my head spin,
and i can feel my grip on the world loosening.
because all that matters is you.
you,
right here,
right now.
"can i be honest?"
i ask.
you nod,
"i thought you were...dating these dudes because you wanted to heal them. but now i know you just want to help. because you've been there before, with no help."
you laugh airily,
insinuating i'm right.
"you know me too well, jake."
"but, y/n, that's not your burden. you need help, too. everything doesn't have to be one sided."
"you're right. i deserve someone who understands me."
i nod my head in agreement,
"you do."
"jacob?"
"yeah?"
you wring your fingers and i know now that you're nervous,
whatever you're about to say next is going to be something you're opening yourself up for.
but you don't speak.
instead,
you let your lips line with mind and soon comes the pressure.
and it's so sweet.
my tongue is numb from the candied taste you offer and my head is pulsating with adrenaline.
nerves make their way to the core of my chest and run my limbs senseless.
my thoughts were once rampant,
but now they're only consumed with you.
more than usual,
of course.
we're perfect together and now you see it.
you see that your lips were carved to fit mine,
your silhouette was framed to stand with mine,
your hands fit perfectly into mine like missing puzzle pieces.
you pull away and let the air fill my lungs again,
the clean air mixed with your perfume clouds my lungs.
but i don't complain,
it belongs there after all.
"i'm sorry it's taken me so long,"
you whisper with your head to mine,
your lips reddened and stretched into a beautiful smile.
i chuckle and hold your cheek,
"but you're here now."
"and i'm not going anywhere."
i plant a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose and watch as you scrunch it just instinctively,
making me chuckle.
the palms of your hands are planted to my chest and i can feel your index finger tracing circles,
and i relish in the feeling of the chills you bring.
i admire the way your eyelashes brush your brow bone,
the gentle tint to your eyes,
the inviting smile that frenzies my heart.
you bring a hand to my cheek and let your thumb smooth my eyebrows out,
and i realize that this and your circle tracings are a form of your simple love language.
"i love you,"
i hear your whisper,
your lips brushing my cheek softly.
i shiver and let my hand fall to the small of your back while i close my eyes,
wallowing in the world around me.
"i love you more."
and it's true.
while you may love me,
my heart will forever be filled to the brim with love for you.
and i doubt it's possible that you feel just as passionately as i do,
though i've learned to stop assuming.
especially when it comes to you.
you've proved me wrong many times today,
y/n.
and i've never been happier to be wrong.