Chapter 34: The Red Scarf

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Yuki's POV (Flashback)

It was the day when I met Akito for the first time.

Akito was now the current Head of the Sohma clan and also the God of the zodiac curse. He's also the son of the previous Head of the Sohma clan. They say that the birth of the zodiac Rat is a matter of great celebration for the Sohmas because the Rat is the one closest to the God of the zodiac.

I had always been a sickly child when I was still. Even though it wasn't my fault that I was sick, my mother would constantly taunt me about it over and over again.

I was walking down the hallway with my mother and an old lady who introduced herself to me as Akito's personal maid. As I was a little child back then, I was extremely nervous and confused about the whole thing of meeting with the current Sohma Head and God of the Zodiac. I didn't know what to do or what to expect.

When we stood in front of a door, my heart was beating extremely fast. Before coming here, my mother strictly told me to behave properly in front of the Head in order to make him like me as his companion. When the door was slid open, my breath hitched and my cheeks became warm.

There was a beautiful young boy in a white kimono sitting in the middle of the room, reading a book. He had short nape-length hair and long messy bangs framing his thick eyelashes and sharp dark brown eyes.

In other words, he was extremely beautiful.

By the look of his appearance, he might be a few years older than me. The boy or should I say, Akito looked up from his book and then stood up, smiling warmly at me. For some reason, I don't know why, but I started to feel weird inside, something I can't describe properly. Tears were rolling down my warm pink cheeks.

My mother lightly scolded me for crying in front of the Head, but I couldn't help it. Something unnamed from deep inside my heart was shouting many incoherent things which were making me even more confused. It was a weird internal conflict of almost having these feelings of adoration for Akito but also repulsion.

At times, I wanted to see him, then again I didn't. I wanted to embrace him, then again I wanted to escape away from him. I was having this disorganized attachment style inside me where it was very much like, 'I need affection from you at the same time I want to push you away out of fear'.

The old lady said that the older zodiacs members cried as well when they met Akito for the first time. It was because of the 'bond' we the zodiac members shared with the God of the zodiac. It was an unbreakable connection.

Akito walked up to me and pulled me in a tight yet gentle warm embrace.

"We finally meet.... My Yuki..."

That was the first-ever sentence Akito said to me after we finally met.

From as I can remember, I was by Akito's side. I would spend all day, every day inside as Akito's playmate. I was still very young back then and didn't question anything. Akito had tantrums, but they were different from the current ones.

I think I recall Akito crying too. I often caught sight of Shigure comforting Akito. I didn't know what was so sad or frustrating.

Then, it started suddenly.

One day, Akito became twisted. He always kept talking about his world being pitch-black color. He even said that my world was pitch-black as well, for both he and I were similar in many ways in his eyes.

Then suddenly, he kept mumbling about him being the chosen one, someone who was needed and was not useless. So he was nothing like me... I wasn't like him. Akito said I was a useless toy, something that my mother practically gave away to him. I was basically thrown away. No one liked the Rat zodiac, no one cared about me.

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