Addictive minds (18+)

Homecoming

Fede had been waiting downstairs with my dad for over an hour. About ten minutes ago they got sick of waiting and started yelling up the stairs for me to hurry.
I looked in the mirror before I walked out. I thought I looked kind of pretty. I was wearing an bright neon pink dress with a high neckline and a poofy tulle skirt. When I bought that dress, I knew I was making a bold move but maybe that was the plan. People always told me I was kind and sweet looking. Although I knew they said it as a compliment it still bothered me sometimes. Because I didn't always want to be kind and sweet. Sometimes I wanted to be bold and brave and rebel against myself and everyone who told me what I was. Tonight, I would be a rebel starting with my rock and roll dress. That's who I was; I often felt buried under my insecurities but made big statements to make myself believe I wasn't. I wished I could be effortlessly pretty. I wanted to be as pretty as the influencers on the internet whose hair always looked perfectly blow dried. Not a single hair out of place. Their hair never got fuzzy in changing temperatures or greasy from working out. I knew their lives probably weren't as perfect as they made it seem but they did look absolutely perfect. When I didn't wished to be them i desired not to care about my appearance at all. How nice would that be? To not feel the pressure that I weighted on me. I knew I was my own enemy. It felt natural  to talk myself down. But in this moment, while I was being bold, I did feel pretty. My brown hair was for once not in a bun. I flat ironed it so now it came all the way down my but. People were always so surprised by me having this much hair because i never really wore it loose. But I decided to make an effort this evening. I even wore makeup, nothing fancy. Just some soft nude colours above my eyes and a baby pink lipstick. I kissed my own reflection in the mirror and made myself laugh when i did. I was feeling the vibe of this evening. I felt my confidence peek and it made my heart beat faster. I don't know why but I couldn't wait for Fede to see me.

I walked downstairs with my heels in my hand, I would break my neck if I attempted to walk down in these stilettos. Fede was waiting downstairs and watched me come down. I had been upstairs when he came in and he didn't yet see my dress. I was hoping he would like it but reading his face right now I think he loved it. His eyes went big and his mouth dramatically dropped. I figured rebellious and bold was right down his lane. He wasn't the only one surprised. Fede never really wore a suit or chic clothing. Most of the time it was short and a t-shirt or his blue stained overalls. But he looked fancy and quite sexy, I might I add.
I liked dirty overall Fede too. Working hard and brushing sweat out of his eyebrows. He looked very masculine when he hung over a car with his hands black from the car parts he had been touching.
Fede got silent for a bit but eventually said. 'Holy moly, Jade you look very good'. I turned red; compliments really weren't something I could get used too. I did like his reaction but I didn't know why I cared so much about his opinion. 'You look handsome as well, nice suit mister'. I said as I playfully touched the butterfly tie around his neck. It sat a little crooked around his neck so I adjusted it a bit. He wiggled his brows and made a kissing gestures towards me as a joke.
This was fine. Just going as friends. Tilly and Inola had been right, it would make things messy. I never talked to Fede about it again and I was glad I hadn't, it would make things unnecessarily difficult. 'Oh baby, you look incredible!'. My dad walked in to the hallway. He had probably been standing around the corner waiting for his cue. 'Thank you'. Fede responded quirky. Although my dad had been talking to me. My dad laughed and pointed at him. 'Stand by the stairs, I want a picture of you two. I'll put it on the fireplace'. I smiled and walked towards the staircase. 'How do we pose?'. I asked confused. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in front of him and rested his hands on my waist. Is my mind messing with me? That's a bold move, right? No, it wasn't, it was nothing. Fede wasn't being bold, he was being himself. He easily hugged and kissed people on the cheek. It never means anything, just him being outgoing. Besides, this was how prom pictures usually looked like. A guy behind a girl, holding each other and smiling at the camera.
My dad shook me away from my thoughts. 'Smile Jade, you're going to a dance not a funeral!'. My dad yelled as I quickly put on a smile. He took the photo; I probably closed my eyes from the flash. 'Lovely, now go! You took so long I bet that dance is almost over'. Fede laughed at my dad's joke and pulled me out of the house as we said goodbye. 'He's right, you're like a snail, so slow'. Of course he thought I was slow, it's because he is so fast. 'Do you know how much time it takes to do my hair? '. He looked at it and brushed his fingers through it. 'It does look really nice and I love the dress'. I blushed. Calm down Jade, jeez. 'You can borrow it if you like'. I joked. He laughed as I looked at him and smiled. I wanted to compliment him again on his suit but my smile turned into a frown as I noticed his neck. I stopped walking and pushed the board of his collar down to have a better look at it. 'Is this real?'. My mouth dropped open as I went over it with my fingertips. I looked at the dark blue bruising around his neck. He pushed my hand away and shook his head. 'Don't do that'. He said annoyed or embarrassed, or both. He avoided eye contact with me by looking in to the street that was being lit up by street lights next to the quiet road I lived on. 'Feddy, when did this happen?'. I tried to sound calm but before I said anything I knew my voice would betray me. I was livid, I knew perfectly well how this happened. His neck looked so red, I bet it just happened before he got here. 'Did this happen today? He tried to choke you?'. I asked but he wasn't even answering my first question. Fede walked to the car and ignored both questions completely. 'Wait! Fede talk to  me!'. I begged him. I grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him away from his car. 'Jade, I don't know what to tell you alright? Yes, he did it. But you already know how it happens. He drinks and gets angry. I don't know what I can do about it, the man is a maniac when he's drunk!'. I readjusted my grip around him so I now held his hand. I knew him well enough to know he could just get in his car and leave to avoid any kind of confrontation. 'Stay with my dad and I, he would take you in!'. He shook his head and clearly wasn't agreeing to that idea. 'What about my work? If I don't make money, I'll lose everything'. I heard him and I understood but that didn't matter. 'Fede, he tried to kill you. You can't go back there and you know it'. I could see him swallowing his sadness, breathing in deeply to avoid tears from falling down. 'Listen, I know you mean well. And I actually really appreciate that you're so caring. But I don't need your help with this, I don't want it. It's painful enough as it is and I don't want to hear about all the things I should do and realize I am too much of a pussy to act on it'. With that being said I didn't know what to do. My natural way of comforting people was trying to find logical solutions and fix it for them. But he didn't want anything to do with that. 'Do you want a hug?'. I finally just said when I didn't come up with anything else to say. He wasn't dumb, he knew all the things I was telling him. Maybe he just needed a friend to be around him that cared enough to listen. 'A hug would be nice'. He chuckled as he offered me a little thin laugh. There really wasn't anything that could have made him laugh. But maybe that was the thing that made Fede feel better, laughter. When I had insecurities, I did big things. I would do something bold that pulled me out of my misery. Fede just laughs his pain away, he puts up a good front and acts like he's fine until he starts to believe it. I opened up my arms and wrapped them around him as tightly possible. My head rested against his chest as he carefully pressed his cheek against my hair. His hand wrapped around my lower back as he sighted, finding comfort in this embrace. When he spoke, he sounded less agitated and way calmer then I had expected him to be. 'Can we just have fun tonight without any drama?'. I agreed because I desperately wanted him to be happy. 'When has it ever happened that we didn't have fun?'. I asked him. He nodded, making his cheek rub against my hair. 'Your right. You're the funniest person to be with. You could be a comedian, you know?'. I smiled and squeezed him as tight as I could.