Addictive minds (18+)

Space

Fede got dressed in under ten seconds. He threw on a black t-shirt and placed a black cap on his curls. I was shaking my head. but at first I didn't dare to stop him. He slid in to his sneakers without making eye contact once. Just look at me.
'Fede'. I called out his name. 'I'm not staying in this fucking hospital for another hour, Jade. They can forget about it!'.
He went through the room like a trailblazer. I grabbed him by his hand and stopped him from moving. 'Calm down, Fede. Time out'. He stopped moving but as he looked at me, I saw a stranger. Whoever looked at me; it wasn't Fede. 'Jade, I think I need some time alone'. Was he fucking with me? ' I'm going to say things I'll later regret. So please give me some space; I'm going to go and call you in a little while'. It felt like someone broke up with me. My hand slowly released him; He walked past me, grabbed his bag and then he just left. 

Just like that. I stood in a room that had been emptied out in a flash. A room I had spent my every free minute in for the last months. He looked once at himself and decided he hated it.
Where was he going?; he probably went to the shed. The shed was his safe space and officially his property now.
Yes it was a garage; a dirty garage without a toilet. But Fede was a guy and he just walks into the woods if he has to go. But it had a bed and it had a shower. It was this emergency shower; workplaces were required to have them. If you caught on fire while working. Too late for that now.
He wouldn't die without me. He could take care of himself. He had done it all his life.
Fede was a hard worker; he had enough money and for now a place to sleep. Food he probably never once in his life made himself anyways; he probably just orders take out.
I understood something life changing had happened to him and that messed up his head. But he pushed me away like I was trash. I had been there through every screaming moment. Every time they treated him; I held his hand. I wiped of the tears and lifted him out of bed when he couldn't sit up straight by himself. I held a straw by his mouth so he could drink.
Right at the finish he pushed me away. I had seen this happen on a smaller scale; When I confronted him with the abuse he endured from his dad. He didn't want my help back then. This was the same thing.
I shouldn't be selfish; how would I feel? I couldn't imagine how he was feeling. I shouldn't judge him for wanting to be alone for a little while. But outside of the hospital I just felt kind of lost. Do I go home?; then my dad will ask about Fede. I can go to Tilly; she is probably bored out of her mind with me spending all my time in the hospital and Ilona away for the weekend. She went on a hiking trip with her brothers. I never seen Ilona once enjoy a sport in her life so she was probably forced.
Tilly was going to talk about Fede too, I knew that for a fact. It was everything everyone talked about these days. It was the worst thing that ever happened in this town and nothing ever had gotten close to it. I think Fede knew that too. I think he realized he was made in to the town's own show. And he didn't appreciate being the main character while feeling vulnerable. He was the guy that just drifted through the crowd normally and liked it that way. And everyone liked Fede without him trying too hard. That's why it was understandable they were all shocked when an 18-year-old boy almost got killed by his drunk father. What a mess.
I looked at my phone and felt a little lost, the normal thing for me to do was call Fede when I felt like this. But he wasn't in the mood for people around him, especially if they were me. I should just go home and avoid my dad and his questions. Maybe by tonight Fede has cooled off and would text me.

I was laying on my bed. Like I figured Tilly was texting me to hang out. I hadn't responded yet because I felt sick to my stomach the way Fede left. I hated that his mood had so much power over me.
I was trying to study but I kept being distracted. While ignoring Tilly's texts I kept looking at my phone to see I Fede had texted me. He had not and by know I didn't know if he was going to. I heard a knock on my door. 'Yeah?'. I called out as my door opened right after the nock. My dad smiled at me and came in. 'Is everything alright, sweetheart?'. I looked down and shrugged. 'I don't know, Fede was pretty upset today and he just left the hospital in anger'. My dad sad down on the end of my bed and looked in to my room. 'Was he upset because you did something or because of the situation he's in?'. How the hell was I supposed to know? 'I don't know, both? I tried helping him and he just got upset when he saw the scars and left. He said he needed to be alone and now I keep worrying about him'.
He sighted and smiled like he felt bad for me. 'I know it can seem unfair; that he suddenly isn't leaning on you. But Fede probably just needs time adjusting to his new life. What happened to him is life changing'. He didn't have to tell me things I already knew. 'Yes, but I haven't push him once. I've only been supportive!'. He looked at me. 'Maybe it's not you but Fede. You know how he is; life of the party and easy going. But underneath is a whole lot of trauma from what that boy went through and is still going through. He pushes people away and doesn't want the confrontation. But that doesn't mean you're not his friend. He'll come find you when he has given it a place. He has the right to be not okay for a minute'. I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. 'The last 3 months he had no problem with me being there to support him and today he just snapped'. My dad nodded. 'That boy is complicated but he's not an idiot. He knows how to take care of himself. Just give him the trust that he will do what's right, Jade'. My dad stood up and leaned over to kiss me on the head. 'Go to sleep, darling. Tomorrow will be a better day'. I raised a brow; I wasn't so sure about that.
He walked out of my room an closed my door behind him. He might be right but it was advice I didn't want to hear. I just wanted to hop on my bike and go to the shed, see what he's up to. Or just text him;  but I didn't do that. 

This was the first time in my life that Fede didn't want me as his friend. He didn't even want to see me and I had done nothing wrong. If I had done something I could have accepted it, I would have accepted the consequences. But we had been kissing each other an hour before he left the hospital in anger.
I threw my school book from the bed and hid myself under the blankets like a scared child. I wanted to disappear. Away from this place or in to a nice dream. I didn't care but I needed an escape. My wish got granted. As I closed my eyes, I could feel the lack of sleep making it impossible to keep fidgeting. I just fell in to a deep sleep. The next morning I grabbed my phone the moment I opened my eyes; to see if he had texted me. Two texts from tilly who was wondering why I ignored her. But nothing from Fede