Addictive minds (18+)

Fede

I am a simple guy. I don't think too much and usually do what feels right. It always seemed to Work fine that way; lately that luck seemed to be wearing off. For a long time i didn't see any meaningful reason to my life. I was just killing time by partying and getting drunk; why wouldn't i? There wasn't a reason to behave when all i wanted was to forget everything.
Now that Jade was back in my life it felt like i was struck by lightning. The only thing that felt right from my past. She was just as gorgeous and sweet as I remembered. But i knew i had hurt her with my behaviour before and i felt anxious to mess up again. I tried not to think about drinking. But the more i tried to control myself, the harder it became; i really was my own enemy here. I knew I didn't deserve her love but i wanted it so badly.

After my misstep yesterday i felt ready to leave home for a while. And i was happy Jade was coming with me; I seemed to be a better person when she had her eyes on me. I didn't want her to feel that pressure so I didn't tell her that. I just wanted her happy and these last few days she seemed to be gleaming from happiness. Somewhere in the midst of a random toughs i realized how much i loved her. When i think about how much i loved her she wasn't even trying hard; it was in weird situation. Like tonight, as we got on a plane and left Spain together. Jade got really scared on the plane since she almost never flew in her life. Sometimes i felt like my whole life happened on a plane. But Jade was looking out of the window nervously and fidgeting on her chair. I told her to relax and she got really feisty; she basically told me to shut up. Ever since i got rich nobody ever told me off; they just nodded like puppies. So, when she got angry i though; i love her. I knew she didn't care about my money like other woman did. If anything, i felt like my wealth felt uncomfortable to her.

We landed in the afternoon and it was hot outside. The sky was cloudless and the sun hanged in the sky like a bright disk. Jade was wearing a yellow dress that complimented her tanned skin nicely. Her shiny hair was up in a ponytail and danced against her back as she walked. I sat behind the steering wheel; driving away from the airport as Jade looked amazed with everything around her. I loved how she seemed to take everything in for the first time. I came to these kinds of places a lot and it was nice to see things from her perspective. All of a sudden i caught myself looking at a mountain she was taken back by. It looked like all the other mountains to me? She was in awe of everything and it made me suddenly grateful of my wealth; i could give her every experience she ever wanted.

She was so different from the girls I attracted now a days. Most of those girls wouldn't stare at a palm tree for five minutes and feel uncomfortable by a posh hotel and wish they could run away. It was typical for Jade to get nervous about these kinds of things and pretend she was fine. Jade had a way of making herself disappear in public spaces and feel uncomfortable by the eyes that might be on her. When we were teens there was a period in time, she did her best to avoid the lake; since she didn't like to be seen in a bikini.
When i first met her, she was scared of me too. She hid behind the glass counter in her dad's bakery. Not realizing i could see her through it. It took a while before she quit hiding from me and stopped being timid.
Jade liked things that were simple and easy going and there was a time i liked those things to; maybe i still did. I remembered how going to the movies with her was the big highlight of our week when all we usually did was swim and hang out at a shed. It seemed like another life when I thought back on it; me working on a car in the middle of summer while everyone was at the lake. Jade would skip the beach and hide out in the shed with me, to keep me company.
She didn't like big crowds and strangers: if you wanted her trust you had to earn it. She seemed to fit the city now but she was a town girl in every way.
When she was younger, she used to hide behind me as i did the talking. Nothing seemed to have changed. As i checked in to our room i noticed how she did exactly that. Her fingers in my back pocket as she hid behind my back and stayed quiet. It was fine; to me she was perfect. She didn't need to be anything else then this.