Addictive minds (18+)

Failure

What comes next. Is not something i was proud off. Actually, i never been more ashamed with myself than this moment.

After i got one off the nicest quick fucks i ever had in my life i felt more relaxed; I actually felt ecstatically happy. I had been tensed since we got here and i finally didn't think about having a drink to get through the day. This evening i had work to do; dinner with some partners, to discuss a new app development. It was the reason i had to come here in the first place and yet I didn't really feel like going.
I was so incredibly content right now; laying naked against jade watching a movie. I felt safe when i was around her and Jade wasn't coming with me either.
She would be miserable there, it was just a bunch of guys talking about software. She was tired and asked me if she could just stay in bed to get some well-deserved sleep. Part of me felt anxious to leave her side. She would be fine but I wasn't so sure about me. Although i really didn't want to get dressed i still made an effort; dark red suit that made Jade wiggle her brows. She was laying in bed; naked and beautiful when i headed out.

The first hours sitting at that table we only talked work. There was a bottle of wine on the table but i told them I didn't drink while work was being discussed. They seemed to find that a legit reason not to drink and didn't offer me again. I felt like i might survive this night without a hangover after all. I starter to relax a bit but once the business part of the diner had ended my mind got less careful. Noticing new glasses on the table; they were filled with local rum and whiskey. I could almost smell them from where i was sitting. I could feel the burning sensation in the back of my throat just by thinking about it. This wasn't good.

I got offered another drink and felt like the weakest jellyfish on this planet. I said no at first; but it was a weak 'no'. It was a no with a laugh and they pressed a glass in my hand anyways. Not knowing what kind of monster they were releasing. All I remember is looking down into the glass and then the glass was on my lips. I remember the rush when i poured the whole glass back in one go. My throat burned but i loved it. God this was my relieve.
I could have started to bawl my eyes out right there from happiness and disgust. God, what was i doing? It just went downhill from there. Cards and chips were laid on the table as booze just started to flow and within half an hour i was so drunk i could barely stand up straight let alone think like a normal human being. By the end of the night everyone was loud and obnoxious and stumbled in to a cab. It was a wonder i found my way back to the hotel.
I didn't even bother to care any longer; Jade didn't even go through my mind and if i had seen her in the lobby i would probably pass her without noticing her. I wasn't aware of how drunk i was until a staff member tried to stop me. 'Mister Jones, are you alright sir?'. The guy grabbed me by my arms and helped me stand up straight when i almost tumbled over. 'Y-yes. Get your fucking hands off me'. I don't know why but i always got really defensive when i was drunk. I didn't want anyone's help and in those moments i always thought of the aggression my dad carried with him. I hadn't ever hurt anyone while i was drunk; but i also knew that i would if they ever pushed me too far. 'Sir, you can't be this drunk here'. I pulled his hands of me. 'I pay 2000 a night. I'll get drunk wherever the fuck i want!'. He said some other stuff to me; trying to calm me down. I didn't hear him; i just remember how he triggered my anger as i got in to the elevator. I slammed by a fucking miracle the right floor button with my knuckles.
I tumbled out of the elevator; crawling up from the floor and frantically laughing at myself for falling. Yeah, really funny. I found the right door number and banged against the wooden door.

The door opened after a long time and Jade stood there in her pyjama shorts. She yawned sleepy; 'did you lose your key card?'. She murmured softly; i woke her up and she hadn't noticed i had been drinking yet.
I stumbled through the door and shook my head frantically. She definitely knew now. I could barely keep my eyes open and I couldn't really figure out the depth in this room. I wanted to lean on a desk but it was further away than i thought so i almost fell down again. I didn't answer her questions about the key card but started to shout things out about the staff member downstairs. 'I wan-t to go down and punch him in the head'. I yelled as i went in to the kitchen area of the room and tried grabbing a glass from the cabinet.