Owned by Him (Editing)

I'm Right Here

'Adara! Come on Lass!'
I heard Archer shout frantically, his hands clamped against each of my shoulders as he tried to shake me awake.
My vision was blurred but I could see that I was still in my sleeping bag and Archer was in front of me. Not Jordan. He wasn't here. I was still dressed in Archer's shirt and fleece. I was okay.

'Take a deep breath for me lovey, in through your nose out through your mouth...'
Archer was patient with me, his empathy extending beyond just his kind and gentle nature. It was clear that his understanding stemmed from a personal experience.
I followed his advice, inhaling and exhaling as he said the words over and over again until my breathing was at a more rhythmic pace.
Once I caught my breath and regained some composure I couldn't stop myself from sobbing.
The humiliation that I had woken Archer because I was having a nightmare was immense.

'I'm so...' I couldn't even get a full sentence out as gut-wrenching sobs racked through my body. Archer didn't say anything but pulled me into a tight hug, one that said 'I'm right here, let it out'. And I did.

'It's only 3.30am, are you okay to go back to bed now lovey?' Archer asks, his chin resting atop my head as I continued to cling to him. Feeling exhausted from the outpour of emotion, I nod tiredly and literally slide off of Archer and back into my sleeping bag. I slept soundly for the rest of the night.

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The two of us work at 8.30 that morning and ate breakfast in a blissful silence. The rain had stopped and the birdsong was beautiful to listen to as we packed up Archer's tent.
I offered to carry it as well as his backpack but he refused my offer and guided us away from the spot we had camped in.
'Please allow me to carry something, Archer' I implore, knowing just how heavy camping equipment could be. It didn't sit right with me that Archer had offered me food, shelter and security and I not offer to give him my help in return.
Growing up, Father always equally shared the tents between him and my mother whilst Andre and I carried the backpacks, the food and the maps. I intended to split half of what Archer was carrying between the two of us.
'Lass, your body has been pushed to its physical limits everyday for two years, you will not be able to walk far with this stuff dumped on your back,' Archer replied, leaving me no room to argue. He was right, I was vastly malnourished and my injuries were still a long way from being healed.
I shut myself up and carry on limping forward.

I knew Archer meant no harm to me and his observations were realistic and not detrimental but I couldn't stop Jordan's consistent reminder of how worthless I was from coming to mind. This only proves how right he was.
Noticing how I had bowed my head, Archer speaks again.
'I'm not being mean, lovey. I appreciate the offer a lot but I've been trained to carry far more on my back than this'.

That caught my undivided attention.
'You've been trained?' I pry, hoping he would elaborate so I didn't come across as the nosey sod I was being.
'Yes lovey, I'm ex-forces' He grins, rightfully proud to have served our nation.
'That's amazing, thank you for your service'
Like many of the soldiers I'd met throughout my life, Archer shrugged the gratitude off. As we continued to walk he told me why he had joined the army, when and how long for. He had enlisted at 18, to escape the constant beatings and verbal detriment his step father, Seth, had subjected him to. The abuse he had endured explained why Archer held such empathy towards my situation. I pitied him, he was a gentle soul and he had been needlessly hurt.

'So, you met Evelyn when you were 16?' I ask, biting into my chocolate spread sandwich. We had been talking about our families, I'd just finished telling me how Andre used to give me 'swirlies'.
Archer's face when I said the term was beyond comical.
'So, a swirly is where your sibling dunks your head in the toilet and flushes?'
The disgust was also prominent as he scrunched his nose up at the idea of pee and poop.
'Yep! It was always flushed before, of course' I had chuckled.

'She was my high school sweetheart. My god, Addie she was breathtaking,' Archer replied, his eyes glazing over as his focus drifted away to thoughts of her. I watched a small grin curve his beard upward and smiled myself as he fell into a reminiscent state. By the furrow of Archers brows, I knew he was recollecting every smile line, every strand of hair, every freckle and mole dotted on her body.

Seeing Archer relishing the memory of his wife, had my own mind fly to the thought of Phoenix. Oh how I longed to feel his touch, to hear his voice whisper how it was all going to be okay. My god how I missed him.
I missed how his large hand completely enveloped mine. I missed how soft his lips were when they pressed against mine and how manly and secure the smell of him made me feel. I had to get to him.

Some hours later, after suppressing the ache in my heart for Phoenix, I felt it necessary to apologise to Archer for the havoc I had caused the night before. I truly felt humiliated that I sought comfort from him.
'Archer?'
'Hmm?'
'I'm sorry about last night,'
'No need for sorry. You are suffering from severe PTSD, sweetheart' Archer replied handing me a small bottle of water. I took a swig and downed half the bottle. We'd been walking non-stop and with having been kept mostly tied up for the best part of two years, I'd lost my ability to walk long distance. Archer had seemed to notice my struggle.

'Let's set up camp here, lovey. You're looking a wee bit pale' Archer points out, setting down the backpack and tent. He had been carrying both for quite some time and yet he hadn't broke a sweat, it was remarkable.

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The winter had always been my favourite season but when out beneath its elements and early nights, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of irritation. I wanted to get to Phoenix, I wanted to see if he was okay, to hold him in a tight embrace and never let go. I wanted to get home to my family, to meet my beautiful little niece.
I suppose my lack of stamina was a contributor to why our travelling had slowed down too but my self destructive thoughts were weighed heavily down by fatigue and I couldn't bare to scald myself for being so weak and hopeless.

'You look exhausted lovey, would you like a wee nap before I start dinner?' Archer asks, catching me mid-yawn.
'I'm so sorry, would you mind if I did? I'm so tired' I reply, barely able to keep my eyes open.
'Not at all, your sleeping bag is already set up. I'll wake you in a wee while, Lass'.
I sluggishly pick myself up and trundle to the entrance of the tent, however just before I enter I press a soft kiss to Archer's head to thank him for his generosity.
'No problem lovey, rest up'
With that, I climbed inside and fell almost immediately to sleep.

Ahh so it was only a nightmare!
Archer is such a big sweetheart!
The next Chapter will be a different point of view!
Let me know what you think xx
Word Count - 1311