Owned by Him (Editing)

Learning Her Place

The door closed and the three bolts clattered into place. I was alone again which in some obscure way was a luxurious preference as without him around I would not be on the receiving end of any torment, torture of degradation.

I wasn't aware of how long I had been here, nor was I any the wiser as to why. However, one thing I was most certain about was the fear his presence brought and how maddening being alone in darkness had become. The terror of when he was close to me was soul-consuming but when I was sitting alone, shackled, blindfolded and gagged, the possibilities of what his intentions were, potently sabotaged my capability of being rational and often had me teetering on the brink of hysteria.

I had tried a great many times to think of something - anything else. Thoughts of home had reduced me to tears - thinking of how petrified my mother and father must have been only resurrected a feeling of guilt. We had fought, you see. Dad had adamantly wanted to pick me up from the Dermatology Clinic - telling me how dangerous it was to be walking home at that time of night.
It had been 11.45pm which, in my defence, was only mildly late seeing that teenage girls stayed out for longer periods every Saturday night.
Mum, of course, had expressed the same perturbation which, at that moment in time, left me feeling more exasperated than the 12 hour shift I had just finished. The call hadn't ended on loving terms. We had exchanged some unkind words and now I was missing. Perhaps they were under the illusion I had run away. I suppose for them, that was kinder than the reality.

The more I thought of them, the more anathematized I was left feeling and the more hope for my escape would dim. It wasn't a practical way of thinking and yet, other than the obvious concerns about my situation, it was one of the only other things I could bring myself to think about.

The burn in my scalp throbbed and my cheek stung but both ailments tore me from my melancholy frame of mind. I'd like to say that I was grateful for the distraction but I'd be lying. They were both a reminder of where I was and with whom and that whilst he may be absent at this very moment, I was still at the mercy of his psychopathic nature. The afflictions allowed me an insight into how short his temper was, how emotionally deficient and how I needed to be extremely cautious not to provoke him to the extent of where he impetuously decides to slit my jugular.

After being sat in the same position for what I surmised to be a perilous amount of time, I managed to convince myself that it would be a reasonable idea to try and manoeuvre my body into a more comfortable position. Given that He had handcuffed my wrists behind my back, taped my knees and ankles together, it wasn't going to be the easiest task.

I began by pulling my bound knees up towards my chest, it was not easy given that the thick layers of duct tape wrapped around them, gave little leeway. After some difficulty, I managed to roll onto my back which meant the hardest part was almost done.

All seemed to be going well, however I seem to have thought that much too prematurely.
In order to be able to roll onto my side, I applied my full body weight, however, I pushed a little too extreme and kicked my legs out in a panic to prevent my face from smacking against the floor. Throughout this commotion, a rippling clatter ricocheted around me. I felt a bout of fear drown my every nerve, I felt every ligament in my body become rigid and I felt my heart almost stop as the sound of his footsteps thump down the staircase.

Unbeknownst to me, there had been a metal dustbin not far from where I had been tied and I had clumsily knocked my feet against it, causing the lid to fall off and alert my captor of my fidgeting.

The noise was an egregious clang and seemed to never end as it echoed around me. Nothing had ever been more certain in my life than the dread I felt in that moment. It was the sound of the bolts being slotted out of place though, that made me wish the ground would just swallow me whole. I was going to feel his wrath.