the hollands ; reader imagines

Go || S.H.

Pairing: Sam Holland x reader

Warnings: anger

~

You had been feeling lonely for a few days. You and Sam have been together for about 6 months, but he's been a little distant and you knew it's just because Tom and Harry are back in town and he's trying to soak up as much time with them as he can, but you wanna hang with him as well, maybe you could go with them.

Of course you don't wanna push yourself in where you're not wanted, so you don't say anything when he cancels plans yet again.

You just turn your phone off and settle on the couch with ice cream and To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

He tried calling and texting after they finished dinner but of course your phone is off so you don't see it. He left messages every half hour, hoping you'll hear them, but of course you don't and now you're starting the second movie.

You're halfway through when there's an incessant knocking on your door. At first you think about just ignoring it, but you're in the living room and you know whoever it is can see the TV through the window

So you peek out the peephole and see Sam

"Go away," you call through the door,

"What's going on? Please let me in," he says, tone worried,

"No," is all you answer,

"Why, darling? I want to see you. Didn't you get my messages?"

"Turned my phone off Sam, and you could've seen me but you cancelled... again," you answer, voice defeated

You don't want to cry anymore, you don't want to argue, you just want to be alone

He starts calling, "let me in," still knocking on your door, "please just wanna talk", and rather than stand here and yell through the door you let him in, because it's clear he's not going away

You open the door just the slightest and step back

He slips in, closing the door behind him. He sees the empty ice cream cartons and To All the Boys paused on the TV

"What's wrong darling?" he questions, "we've been weird all week, just wanna make it right..."

"You cancelled, again," you start

"I know, darling, and I'm so sorry, just wanted to be with my brothers, haven't seen 'em in so long"

"But you've been with them all week!" you screech, finally letting you anger bubble over, "I know you missed them, but I miss you!"

He stood there at a loss for word,

"Nothing to say?"

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth like he's going to say something calmly but instead he yells, something he's never done before, "well they're my brothers! And I don't know, I thought you'd respect that!"

"Well Sam, I'm sorry that I miss you and I don't want to be clingy but why can't we all hang out together?" you counter, trying to find a solution instead of continuing to yell

"Well I want some alone time with them too," he says, still loud but not screaming anymore

"And that's fine, but I do need to meet them at some point..."

"You're right, but not yet, just wanna be brother Sam for a few more days, not brother and boyfriend."

"Then why did you even bother to make plans with me!" you yell again, "you should've just gone with them and I could've done something else! Then I wouldn't be sitting here feeling like shit!"

"Well I'm sorry, but I didn't know they were going to want to do something!"

Your face falls instantly, "so I'm just a second choice then? Second best..." you answer, voice small and tears pooling I'm your eyes

"No, darling," he's quick to try to save himself but you cut him off

"I think you should go," you look at the floor, "don't wanna do this right now," you whisper

"Darli-"

"No," you cut him off again, sniffling as you say, "please just go"

His head drops, and he backs out the door, knowing he messed up and there's no fixing it right now. You lock the door behind him, then sink back on the couch. You turn your phone on to call a friend, you need more ice cream and maybe she'll bring some

You're met with all the messages from him. Just as you're dialling her number you get another text from him, "you're never second best, darling", And then another comes in right after, "I'm so sorry"