Broken [h.s]

Chapter 21

T.W. - Small Panic Attack

I lost myself that night I threw it all away 

Recall my mother's words 

But it was far too lateI feel the burden now 

It's weighing down my soulAnd I can't catch my breath 

'Cause these demons follow

.........

Swear I've changedBut you don't care that 

I'm not the sameYou'll always haunt me

I Lost Myself - Munn

Julianna's POV

It had been almost four days of just eat, movie, and sleep. I haven't left the house and neither has Luca except yesterday to get more food because we had almost ate it all. It's really hitting me that I'm going to be alone tonight while he's on his date. I didn't mind being alone during the day when it's bright although that's not what it's going to be. It is killing me just thinking about how I'm going to be alone at night, when darkness will surrounds the entire house. 

I hate the darkness. I'm terrified of it and everything that could be hiding inside of it.

Just as I feel myself begin to panic a high pitched screech of Luca rips me out of my thoughts causing me to swing around quickly on the couch so my eyes land on him.

"Shit no ahh fuck how do I look? Hello Julie I'm talking to you. Are the clothes to much, I thinks they're to much what if he hates it, what if...if-

He speaks pacing back and fourth vigorously his hands running through his hair then swinging by his sides in frustration. I pause a moment catching my breath before speaking. 

"Stop just stop, Lucas Emerson Pierce you look amazing. You are going to take his breath away hell his entire existence way. And too much, please you look perfect. You look so beautiful, he won't be able to handle him self I promise" I scoff smiling as I look up to meet his eyes. 

I get on my tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek as I finish my sentence and when I come back to the pads of my feet I see a single tear fall from his eye. 

"Aww babe that was oh- I just love you so much. Thank you" He speaks pulling me into a hug gently and holding me for a minute before running off saying he had to brush his teeth...again.

Sitting down back where I just was I noticed how much he must really like this guy. In all the years I've known and all the dates and trust me there has been a lot. He's never ever been this stressful. He's always so confident I almost choked not really knowing what to say to him just now to make him feel better, I was so shocked from his behavior. 

I really hope what I said truly helped a little, because I meant every single word.

"Shit he texted he's here, he's here. I can't open the door will you get it? Julie please I need you to get it. I can't face him yet" He yells from the the edge of the kitchen peeking his head out from behind the wall. 

Sighing I get up from where I was sitting contently and begin to walk to the door before remembering that I still don't know one important factor.