Broken [h.s]

Chapter 29

Julianna's POV

Warmth filled my body as the sun seeped through my parted curtains. Warmth that felt so good on my skin that pain was radiating through my entire body. Pain. Immediately my mind reminds me of what happened the last 48 hours. What happened that last 12 hours. What happened last night. What happened just this morning.

Harry.

To my left is cold and empty and neatly fixed. He made the fucking side of the bed he slept on? What the actual fuck.

Harry happened and he's not here. It almost feels like he was never even here in the first place.

I jump out of my bed pain striking me as I do, but i don't let it stop me as I race to the kitchen hoping to find him there. He couldn't just leave.

He wouldn't, would he?

He did. He fucking left me. My thoughts are correct when I look out my window and see my driveway empty.

Empty

The pain my body is in doesn't compare to the feeling that's crushing my chest this very moment. The pain Harry caused, he promised me we would talk this morning. Leaving was not part of the deal.

No. No. Fucking no. I huff to myself going back up the stairs. He's not getting off the hook that early. His father doesn't get to almost kill me and then not 48 hours leave without a trace. I reach my room my eyes landing on my phone, but gravitate to what's lying next to it.

What wasn't lying next to it last night.

An envelope.

My hands work faster then my mind as I snatch it tearing it open wishing it was an explanation. At the force that I tear it something flies out landing beside me on the bed.

A ring attached to a silver chain.

One of Harry's rings. It was one of his newer ones. It was a simple band with a black stone in the middle. I couldn't quite place what kind of stone it actually was.

In an instant I throw in over my head, the cold metal of the chain soothing my burning hot skin. Gently my hands find the envelope pulling out the pieces of paper neatly folded together.

Tears already being to flow as my eyes follow the sloppy hand writing of the man who pushed his way in to my life and helped piece me back together.

Good morning love,

By the time you're reading this I'm gone. I left. I would apologize, but I can't. I'm not sorry I left, I should've the moment I knew Jack or whatever fuckfaces name is could never hurt you again. I didn't though J, I stayed for my own selfish reasons and you almost payed for it with your life. Your life Julianna. Your precious life. Do you understand how grateful the world is to have you in it? You don't and I could see that as you closed your eyes that night baby, you wanted to give into the darkness. You wanted to rest, you enjoyed the though of it. Even when I told you about Clair you didn't stray away. Thats, thats not normal. I told you what happened to her and it hardly fazed you. It killed me, it kills me to see that. To see that you won't fight, but baby you have to start now.

With me in your life, you won't be able to do that. At least not properly.

So please do that for me.

I need you to find someone for me. Can you do that? I need you to find yourself again.

I know you can baby. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Go see your mom. Tell her everything if you wish. Even tell Lucas or red head, but don't keep it all to yourself anymore. You can't do that anymore. You can't keep it all to yourself baby, because it will break you completely.

love please promise me you're going to listen to me.

I know you hate me right now. You have every right to, I hate myself right now, More than usual that is. That doesn't take away from the fact that I'm right. I fucking hate that this is one of the things I have to be right about and I fucking hate for what I'm about to say.

After you feel content with your self I want you to meet someone. Meet someone who will treat you the way you deserve, because Julie babe you deserve the entire universe.

So make sure he,

opens doors for you

buys you all the chocolate strawberries you could ever want

kisses you goodnight and morning

sings in the car with you

someone who will answer you honestly when you ask a question

will hold you and tell you how much he loves you

someone who doesn't lie to you

Someone who's the complete opposite of me pretty much. I wasn't good for you baby, I only hurt you more in the end. I lied to you on so many accounts and hid so much fucking stupid shit from you.

I hope one day I can see you again, see you when you happy. Happy and in love with life again. That's all I want to thus life is for you to want to be here again. To enjoy yourself for yourself not on other people accounts. I will be watching you. You won't see me, but i'll be with you every step of the way. I know that's fucking creepy as shit, but i've done worse. So much worse.

I wish I could've done better. I haven't regretted much in my life, but I have regretted everything since meeting you. If i wasn't in the shit I was in now, I could be the man you deserve, the man you need.

Who knows maybe in another life we are happy and in love feeding each other chocolate strawberries on a roof. Love is a strong word, one I don't use anymore. I does me no good. Good is something that's not in my vocabulary or my life. You were the only piece of good and now it's time for me to let go of that. I love you my sweet angel, and I always will. You're my good I never knew I'd have, and now reality kicks back in and I won't have it anymore. I can't have you anymore.

I'm writing this right beside you as you sleep. You look so peaceful right now. You fell asleep quick after everything this morning. You look like an angel. My angel. I know you believe in God and I think I'm starting my love. You want to know why? You, that's why. I do believe he sent you to me, and now I'm meant to send you back to him.

Angel you need to find him again in order to find yourself.

A/N - Hi everyone it's Taylor, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There will be more to come soon...