Trusting someone is a delicate balance, a leap of faith that they won't shatter your trust. It's uncertain whether one will shed tears in response or rise to the occasion and fight back.
Jimin finds himself entangled in a complex situation, unsure o...
I hope you're reading this while you're by yourself. First and foremost, I'm not sure why I'm writing this; it's not like this journal is suddenly going to transfer into you and respond to me, but it's just so difficult. You don't answer my calls, you don't respond to my text messages. . . it hurts. I'm just so desperate to see you at this point. Just for once. I swear I'm not going to be greedy. Only once. Can't you just show up in front of me once, and let me know you are doing good?
Everyone keeps asking me, "Are you okay?" I'm not sure what I'm meant to say. I'm so sick of pretending to be okay when I'm not, and those recurring dreams. . . it's always about you. It's always you on the ledge of a precipice, and I'm far away. You were reaching out to me, crying, screaming, and I was running toward you. . . but no matter how fast I ran toward you, I couldn't reach you, and you just. . . fell back, off the cliff, holding your hand out, and every fucking time I failed to save you. . . this nightmare isn't going away, Taehyung, and it scares the fuck out of me. Please.
It scares me, Taehyung. It freaking scares me how much I love you. The thought of you being alive somewhere out there in the world. . . is something that makes me want to keep going, and it's scary how much my happiness depends on you. I know it's toxic, but I can't help it. All my thoughts are revolving around you, and I feel like I'm going to lose all the remaining sanity I'm left with. I know it's too much to ask, but can't you just come back?
You always tell me why I caught feelings for you when you all did was hurt me. You told me I was too good because of that. If you think about it, you are the same, Taehyung. You never stopped caring about others, no matter how much they wounded you. Your parents hurt you a lot, but you still love them, even though you tell that you hate them every time you see them. Don't even try to deny it. I have seen the hurt that took over your eyes when you realize what you said hurt them. I have seen everything, Taehyung. Even though I hurt you a lot, you still wrote that letter and lied that it wasn't my fault and that you aren't hurt just so I won't feel bad. You left, but you didn't forget about me. You are the one who is too good for me. . .
