chapter 11

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As my driver was driving me home, I was shaking with fright, my anxiety was up to 100 at this point that I couldn't breathe, that I couldn't think. The driver pulled over a few times to help me calm me down before I went into Cardiac Arrest and he would have to drive me to the hospital.
Once he calmed me down both times, he drove on and finally we got to my house. When he helped me to my door, he asked me was there anything he could help me with just called him. He gave me his number and walked away.
He was nice enough to help, but his boss was a complete ass hat. I couldn't stand him, I couldn't even think of him in the ways I use to, all I thought was hate, disgusted. I felt humiliated, I felt like a whore for sleeping with a married man. I was his mistress and I felt dirty over it.
I ran up to my room to get out this dress to take a long hot shower to clean myself off. Before I did, I called the girls and asked them to come over. Told them the doors unlocked, just it once your both here.
When I dialed their number for a 3 way call, I just stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I could see the dirtiness just beaming on me. Like it was calling me names; slūt, hœ, skãnk, whõre, trash, homewrecker, and etc....

"Carrie, how's the party?" They both asked. When they heard me crying, they both asked. "What's wrong?"
"Can you both come to the house please. I don't wanna be alone." I told them.
"Yes, of course. We're on our way." They both said.
"Doors unlocked, just lock it when y'all get here." I told them then hung up.

I laid the phone on the counter and grabbed ahold of it before I fell to the floor. I had one thing to do and I had to do it before they got here.
I took off my dress and underclothes then stepped into the shower and turned the water on full blast on hot water. When the cold water hit me, I jumped like someone had touched me. But I knew no one was here though, at least not yet. But once the hottest of the hot water touched me, where it was burning me but I didn't care.
I felt like I've been stabbed or raped for feeling the way I feel right now. I rather had that then been lied to and been the other woman.
We've been dating for at least almost 2 or 3 years, we were engaged. Engaged. Oh my god, we were engaged and he had a wife and kids. I fell to my knees, letting the tears flow out of me. But you couldn't even tell I was crying because of the water. But you can hear me sniffling and whining from crying. As I felt the water started to get cooler, I felt the water go away then arms were around me. When I looked up, I saw the girls in the bathroom with a towel and my robe.
Kylie helped me up from the shower floor to dry me off and Hailey helped put my robe on me then they walked me into my bedroom.
At this moment I wanted to die for how I feel but I can't do that when I have a family, friends, a business to take care of.
As I laying there with the girls holding me, one of my favorite songs started going off in my head. It was the suicide number song; 1-800-273-8255 by Logic, Alessia Cara, and Khalid. As it was playing in my head over and over in my head, my phone has rung. Kylie got up and went into the bathroom to go get it for me.

"It's Mark, love?" She said.
"No, I don't want to talk to him anymore. Tell him to leave me alone." I told her.
Kylie answered the phone. "Hey Mark. Carrie don't want to talk to you and said to leave her alone." As she said that, I just knew he was telling her things to try to get me to talk to him.
"Whatever he's saying, tell him to talk to his wife about not me." I yelled.
"WIFE!?" Both girls said at the same time.
"Hell naw, Mark. Just goodbye and leave me girl alone before I kick your ass myself." Kylie said then hung up the phone.
"He had a wife?" Hailey asked.
"And kids too. He had a family this whole time while we were dating. Then he wanted to marry me, fûck that." I said as I looked at my hand then took off the ring and threw it across the room. "I need to get away from here, I need to start all over."
"Like where?"
"I don't know just yet. I'll have to look while I'm working. Maybe I can get a bank loan to expand the business again. Maybe I can get it out of town or even state."

Just thinking that just hurt but least I had my girls with me to help me get that jacka$$ off my mind.
That's all that matters right now, was my health and my jobs. I had to figure out who can help me run the shops here if I moved out of town or even state. I just might have Kylie run the main shop and one of the other employees at the other shop to run that one and when I can, come back here and check how business is doing on them.

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