The One That Got Away!

chapter 9

The moment I left the shop, all I could think about was Cynthia. The look she will have after watching the video. The anger, the heartache, the disappointment of her spouse cheating on her once more. But the most important thing of all that is the fact that he done it in their home, while she was there, with their family and kids.
As I drove to my mother's house, now mine, I had texted Jacob to meet me over there. I needed a fix after what just happened. And I needed it bad. I wanted this feeling to go away.
All the bad that's happened in my life. My mother leaving me. Not knowing my father 1st part of my life. And still don't, because he's still gone half the time.
But knowing that my siblings have to go through that all over again, hurts me the worst. I get doing it to me, because I hardly knew you but not to them.
As I drove up to the house, Jacob was sitting on the porch swing waiting for me. When I got out of the car, I ran to him, where his arm were opened, ready to hug me.

"So, how are we gonna get inside?" He has asked.
"There's a kid hidden. And I have the code as well. I had it changed after my mother passed away. I didn't want anyone knowing what it was and be able to come in when they wanted." I told him.
"Like Mark?"
"Yes, like him. He knew when we were home, back when she was alive. He always monitored us. His way knowing we were safe and alive I guess." I told him, while leaning my head on his shoulder.
"Does he know your here?"
"No, only one knows is Cynthia. And I know she won't tell him either. She wasn't very happy what I told her. And she won't be after watching the tape either."

After talking about what had gone wrong, the reason of me running away, wanting to get a fix. What I really needed was a fix on life. A new life, a change on everything. I sorta wish I never met my father. After what's he's done to me and our family.
But knowing him, what made this family bigger. But was it what I wanted. I'll never know for sure, to be honest.
After awhile of being outside, it was starting to look gray out, like a storm was starting to form. And it was starting to feel chilly out. Winter was close, and it was gonna be a bad year for it.
I got up from the swing and went to unlock the door, turn off the alarm, and turn on the heat. As that was done, I showed him around some before going up to my mother's room. Where it would be perfect for us. Not only the bed would be bigger but there was a fireplace in there.

"So I bought you at least a weekends worth, that was all I could bring you. My guy, said that's all he could do for a short notice for the price of money I had." Jacob told me.
"No, its fine. Its my fault I left what stash I had at the house. My luck, my father threw it away." I had said as I started to get a small dose ready.
"Be easy with this. It will knock you off your feet. So take a small hit of this." He told me as he helped me.

I nodded my head and was ready for it to come. And as his word, it was a kick. I never felt so alive, so numb. What I was feeling, what had happened was gone. The pain from being hit, I no longer felt it.
All I felt was, like I was on cloud 9. The room was spinning, but I didn't care. I just laid back and let it all hit me. Jacob laid next to me and held me close. It felt nice but it didn't keep the dreams away like I wanted.
As I fell asleep, the dreams came and it didn't want to go away. It was the moment my father hit me over and over again. Everyone laughing at me for being hit for something I didn't do. But I did cause all of it. It was all my fault and it shouldn't. Just like how my mother shouldn't be gone, she should be here laying in this bed with me holding me instead of Jacob. Telling me things that I should hear. Telling me how much I mean to her. How I changed her world for the good.
Telling me stories of her childhood, stories that she grew up to. How she wanted my life to be. Wanted me to find my prince and live a life that I wanted and never back down. Don't take shit from anyone.
But I am doing the opposite what she wanted for me. I'm sitting here getting high, running away with my boyfriend. Getting beat on from my father. Not giving a care in the world from where I'm standing.
All I wanted was my mother to be here. To be close me once more.
As the next day, I woke up with a headache from hell. Jacob was gone, but left a note and told me he had to get back home. And told me to take it easy today after the fix I had yesterday. Which I was. I was gonna sit in this room and chill and watch whatever movies I had here on DVD and watch what I had on my phone.
The aloneness wasn't good but it was what I needed. But it didn't help when my phone was being blown up from my family. Cynthia would text me asking how I was and told me she watched the tape. She told me she's hurt how it went down and that she kicked my father out. That I was good to come back when needed. Which was gonna take some time for me to heal from that.
Chris blowing me up asking where I was. Told me that when Cynthia got home that hell all broke loose. That he's never seen his mother so pissed off in his life. Carlie, wondering where I was and seeing if I were okay. And of course my father for blaming me for what had happened.
I, a 13 year little girl shouldn't have to hear or see that from their father but I did. I tossed my phone aside and cried. I couldn't take it anymore, so instead of taking it easy, I had gave myself another dose of this shit. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I wanted it all to be gone.
I wanted my mother back.
After falling back, I had screamed with everything I had in me, like I never had before. Which just made it worse for me.
But nothing wasn't gonna help me. No one was or were.
I had no one but the air and blood running through my body. A body that shouldn't even be alive or been born at all.
What should do with my life, is all I was thinking about. What should I do?

I feel bad for Rosey. I feel bad how she feels. No child should have to go through something like that.
I just hope no one gets mad at me for how this came. Forgive me if y'all can. But I do promise you, there's gonna be a good ending. May not be a happy one but it will be better than anyone could probably think a story like this would end.