Within the walls

57

Jean's pov

After one of the most embarrassing things I've ever endured second only to my mum showing up to training I sat down with Armin, Connie and Mikasa. We were having Lunch and Nyx decided to stay in her room and read instead of joining us. I probably should have forced her to come eat but I really didn't want to see her right now.

"How did the confession go?" Connie asked.

"She's already got a boyfriend." I replied.

"I wonder if it was him..." Armin mused.

"Him?" Connie asked.

"In the memories of Nyx I've seen she's always with another person and she makes her relationships with them quite obvious. Like with Zeke she commonly refers to him as 'big brother zeke' or with Annie she often goes to her for help with things like hair and clothes like you would with a parent or sibling. She refers to Reiner as her idol and Bertholdt and a black haired girl as her best friends." Armin explained.

"And?" I asked.

"There's a boy with blonde hair that she was with in this one memory, she was holding his hand and smiling at him. Maybe it's him." Armin said.

"Did she tell you anything about him?" Connis asked.

"She said he was tall, strong and smart. That his family took her in instantly and he was always taking care of her." I said.

"Why does it matter? She's going to die soon anyway." Mikasa said.

"Don't say it like that." Connie said.

"She's offered up her titan, they're already looking for her replacement. She'll be dead by the end of next year." Mikasa said.

"Doesn't she have two years left?" I asked.

"She's sick, medicine is barely keeping her alive. They're probably only waiting as long as next year to train someone." Armin said.

"Guys, the prisoner wants to go out somewhere, who's taking her?" A soldier said as he entered the dining area.

"I'll go." Armin said.

"Are you sure? I haven't had a chance to talk to her properly yet." Connie said.

"It's fine, I want to ask her about some things about titan shifting." Armin said.

Time skip

Nyx's pov

I was surprised Armin agreed to come on a walk with me. I dragged him to a flower field I used to visit when I was a scout.

"You seem to like flowers, you had pressed flowers in your room." Armin pointed out.

"My mum grew up free before she was kidnapped and enslaved, her parents were florists in Hiruzu. Before she was murdered she taught me all about flowers and their meanings. I only got to see one or two different types of flowers when I was little, the first time I truly saw them was when I came here." I said. "They remind me of my mum."

"I keep my grandpa's hat in my room, he used to wear it all the time. After he died it was the only thing left, everything else was left behind in Shiganshina." Armin said. "I get the need to find a reminder of someone."

"I've missed just talking about random things. Normally people only talk to me when they need something." I said. "I think you, Marco, Jean and the warriors are the only ones that talked about nothing with me."

"You know talking to you now feels different somehow." Armin said.

"You have Bertholdt's memories now, you'll probably share some of his thoughts and feelings and habits. I don't know how you used to see me but Bertholdt was my best friend when I was little, he'd help me out when I was frustrated or struggling to sleep and he used to let me climb all over him. He said he saw me as that one annoying little cousin that you'd say you hate babysitting but would miss if you didn't see them in a while." I said laughing slightly.

"I used to think you were kind of cute and funny, I felt a bit nervous talking to you but now I kind of see you as a comfort person." Armin said.

"Good to know that Bert saw me as something comforting. I find that if I'm struggling to differentiate between myself and previous titan hosts I think about what type of things I saw in people growing up and what traits are common in someone with my upbringing, if I do things that don't fall in line with that then I know something from the previous command. It was something only picked up on a year or so ago, that's why I had a lot personality issues and mental breakdowns." I said.

"Does it really get that hard?" Armin asked.

"To be the command Titan you need to be intelligent, strong willed, decisive and a natural leader, because of that my predecessors all had strong thoughts and ideas. They all talk over eachother and try to take over my mind, almost as if they're possessing me. If you're weak will you're kind of doomed to become the puppet of previous commands." I explained. "But you should be fine, Bertholdt was shy and timid, he won't take over."

"That's good to know." Armin said.

"If you need help with titan stuff feel free to come and talk to me. I enjoy your company and like teaching people things." I said.