UNSHACKLED FEELINGS

CHAPTER 30

    We were both in the elevator on our way home, Kadir was holding onto my hand, suddenly it stop, my heart gave a tight clutch, this is why I hate elevator, I feel claustrophobic in it, always close in, I feel as if  I am in that same place again, tied around a chair, shuddering slightly, I move closer to kadir, he must have sense my turmoil because he wrapped his hand around mine  then ,the elevator ,light started blinking and it went off , oh ya Allah , I hate darkness, I dislike it .

" Kadir, where are you." I was shouting now.

" hey, calm down, Muna, Im here, I promise nothing is going to happen to you."  tugging him down with me, I move closer, till I was almost sitting on his lap, meanwhile, I was surprised, I haven't gone into panic attack yet, this kind of situation I always make sure I am not always alone so when I go into panic attack I won't be taken advantage of.

" kadir, Im so scared, I hate darkness, I...I, h..had  a bad experience with the dark ." I knew I was stuttering and almost near tears but I couldn't help the tremor that rake my body.

" sweetheart, Im here for you, remember no matter the situation, I may not be there, to protect you always but remember, Allah always got your back." if I wasn't having such a fright, I could have laughed at the new nickname he gave me and also the way he was preaching but right now. I think I needed it, whispering, soft prayer under my breath, I held on kadir for dear life, and we were both like that, till the elevator light came back, a voice was speaking on the microphone, I couldn't hear much, but I hear bit of "   we are sorry for the inconvenience, we had a short time power failure."
"Muna can you, should I carry you." I couldn't care less if you did but I may feel so embarrassed later, I didn't want the tabloid talking again.

" no please give me a minute, let's me get my breath back.
" okay sweetheart, you have all the time you want."

The ride back home was a silent one, I was a little embarrassed, I mean I spoilt the date, I made everything go bad, why did the light have to go out at that moment, now my husband is going to look at me as some freak who is afraid of the past, I wish I could turn back time but I can't. Turning my head, I tried stealing a glance of him and I saw he was looking back at me. I turn to the other way immediately I saw him looking, now we are home, at least I can go lock myself in my room, for some time.

" welcome, mun, how was your date." oh my, Ive forgotten my friends said they were going to inspect the whole house, my mind was pretty occupied.
" yeah aunty muna, howy, is your date go." Smiling down at the little angel, I couldn't help but tried to mask what is going on in my mind. I prayed it doesn't show, because I was tired.

" baby, my date went well darling, thank you so much and where is shalom?." glancing beside Pricilla, I didn't see any sign of shalom .
" oh she had some emergency with her foolish ex, so she went in to handle the situation." ya Allah, what her ex, the Stinky bastard.
" what! You made her go alone, to her stupid ex, when you know how he is, are you sure she is going to be alright."
" of course, she will, I told one of your bodyguard to follow her."
" really ", glancing beside me, I hope my husband doesn't have a problem with that. " Alhamdulillah, I got so scared there for a moment."
" we were just heading home, we are going to leave you two to it, Lizzy tell your aunty goodbye."
" goodbye, aunty, see you tomorrow." keeping my cheek done so she can place a kiss in it, I hug, priscillia, and wave them both bye, watching as she drove out of the buildings.  It suddenly Felt chilled, holding the blazer tightly around me, I tried moving toward the direction of our room but I was held back. Oh God I don't need this right now, I suddenly felt drained.