A/N: Thank you for 1k reads! But most, for all your comments as a sign you're still around :) As an appreciation gift, I posted a short Bkdk in my other book of MHA oneshots (Bakudeku Oneshot - Thank you for being awesome). I guess, small bean Deku deserves some love too, after all ❤
- Stupid villains... can't even rob a bank well... - Katsuki mumbled, turning off the Saturday Morning News on TV.
He put a moca pot on the stove and lit a cigarette, looking for painkillers in the drawer. He woke up around 11 and felt like shit.
- What time is it? - a shirtless man entered the living room, scratching his back, trying to recognise the surroundings.
- Time for you to leave. - Kat retorted, not looking at the person who just so happened to have slept in his bed last night. - Don't forget your stuff.
'I'm m pretty sure Bakugou would scold me for that...' - Kat thought, sighing deeply, after the nameless but extremely hot guy dressed up and left in a rush, not even saying 'bye'. Kat frowned, biting his lip.
It's been over two weeks since he woke up one night to find his bed empty. His chest ached at the feeling of losing Bakugou, that edgy teenager who turned out to be more important to Kat than anybody else.
At first, he thought that maybe the teen left to have a walk in the morning, to take a break from difficult topics they touched on, so he waited patiently, full of hope. He worried that his younger self would run into trouble but, at the same time, he trusted Bakugou to have at least a couple of brain cells working. All he had to do was to wait for Bakugou to come back home, to hug him tightly and tell him how important he is, that Kat will change for him, that he will try being strong again, that everything will be fine. But as three full days passed and Bakugou didn't show himself, Kat deduced the teenager must have dissolved that night, after all.
Katsuki didn't think he would cry after someone so pitiful as himself but there he was, one gloomy evening, eaten by sorrow, crying alone, curled in his bed for hours. 'Why did you come, just to break my heart, Bakugou? Why did you make me love you to leave me, like everyone else? What did I do to you to deserve it?' - he thought, hugging tightly a blanket Bakugou used to roll himself to sleep every night.
He learnt to love Bakugou and now he missed him with each cell of his body.
Katsuki really wanted to change. He really wanted to make an effort, to find a job, to quit smoking, to find a long-term partner, to forgive himself for all his mistakes. He really wanted to.
But, as much as he really wanted to change, he had no means to do so on his own.
He was a prisoner of his self-destructive habits, unable to break the chains, always finishing with a new cig and a new guy in his bed. After each time, he mumbled 'That's the last one, this time I'm going to change for real'. Just to open a pack of cigarettes or his legs once again.
He kept sending out his CVs to nearby stores, offices, hero-supporting agencies, willing to humble himself just to earn some money. He even attended two job interviews, not hearing from the interviewers ever again.
He thought about contacting his friends, or better - people he happens to know, but a feeling of shame ate him alive every time he attempted to write to someone. 'I'll do it once I'm better, I'll prove them I'm invincible, them fuckers'. So, he never contacted anyone, ghosting messages from Kaminari and Mina.
Knock knock.
- Who there?! - Kat yelled, not willing to move from the sofa.
- Toshinori.
Kat jumped at the voice he would never forget. Toshinori? Toshinori! All Might! All Might??!!
- H-Hi there... - Kat stuttered, opening the door as quickly as he could, eyes round open.
- Good morning, Bakugou Katsuki. I'm sorry to disturb you, I don't want to take too much of your time.
- No, no, all good. I, uh, I wasn't that busy... - Kat blushed, opening the door wider to let his unexpected guest enter. 'Damn, I should have cleaned up...'
- Thank you. - All Might glimpsed at a mess of Kat's place, grunting quietly.
- Uh... want some water or...
- Don't worry, it won't take long. Can we just sit down for a minute?
- Do you mind if I... - Kat started shyly, with a bottle of rum in his hand. Yes, it was early. Yes, he had an unusual guest. Yes, he did not give a fuck, feeling his anxiety building up.
All Might shrugged, feeling a wave of pity towards a lost ex-pro hero. He remembered Bakugou from his times of glory and seeing this caricature of a human... it hurt deeply.
- How can I help? How do you even know where I live? Did something happen?
- Let me explain from the beginning, Bakugou. Your address was given to me around two weeks ago, by your younger copy...
Katsuki gasped, hands starting to tremble uncontrollably. Bakugou!! Two weeks ago?!
- Did you... - Kat blinked out tears that built up in his eyes' corners. - Did you meet him? Is he all right? Where is he?
- I'm sorry, Bakugou. I met your younger version only once. On Thursday, two weeks ago, early in the morning. I haven't seen him since then.
Thursday morning... so he did leave that night! Where is he?!! Is he in trouble?!! He as hell will be once he shows himself at home!!!!!
- He came to... apologise. For what happened 12 years ago. And so, here I am, to tell you, the real Bakugou Katsuki, that there is nothing, and never has been anything to apologise for. My retirement has never been your responsibility to take. I kept repeating that but, apparently, you're still feeling guilty about it. If you weren't, how could young Bakugou come to apologise for that, crying?
Kat bit his trembling lip. Of course, it's his fault, of fucking course! How could no one see it but him?!
- Look, Bakugou... I was on the verge of my capacities. I was able to change into my hero form for around an hour, maybe less. Besides, it was a fight between myself and AFO. What happened that time had nothing to do with you. It was my state, and my fight. You can't keep victim-blaming yourself, you can't...
- Don't sell me this bullshit, old man. You could have stayed a hero way longer than this. At that moment, each month that passed with you as a hero, was an extra month for Deku to get prepared. I blew it. He didn't have enough...
- Didn't he? I think he's been doing great. - Toshinori smiled. Why was Katsuki so annoyingly stubborn?! - And I think it's about time you drop this self-loathing shit. I don't want such a talented man as yourself to torture himself over me. I'm not worth it. I've never been.
Kat gulped rum straight from a bottle. What the retired pro hero was telling him, was that he basically wasted 12 years of his life.
On one hand, Katsuki didn't want to give up. He blew up and he knew it. On another... imagining sad, crying, 15 years-old Bakugou standing in front of All Might's mansion and begging for forgiveness... this was something else. Painful, pitiful, but also cathartic.
- You want me to drop the victim-blaming act, don't you, All Might.
- It's my fault you spent years like this. I wasn't clear enough when talking to you, when you were only a teenager. I assumed you would understand it. That you wouldn't bother. I left you hanging and led you to... - Toshinori's eyes hovered around the room. - ... this.
- You're giving yourself too much credit, All Might. - Katsuki smiled.
- So do you, my dear student. - All Might smiled back. He stood up, straightening his pants. - I'll be going back. Apologies it took me so long to pay you a visit. I promised young Bakugou I'd do it as soon as possible but a certain mission forced me to travel overseas for a while. I came back only yesterday.
Katsuki shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to show his guest the door. He was too deep into thought about his younger version.
'My dear Bakugou, what did you get yourself into?!'
YOU ARE READING
27 And Counting (Adult Katsuki Bakugou MHA)
Fanfiction27-years old Katsuki Bakugou has come a long way since the beginning of his path toward the Number One Hero. However, he's not exactly where he thought he would be. He learns in a hard way that being hero isn't only about exploding villains' faces...
