𝑺 𝑬 𝑹 𝑬 𝑵 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 (18+)

seventeen.

S E R E N I T Y

♥

The first boy I ever thought I loved was named Carter Montgomery. I was in the sixth grade while he was in the seventh. He was tall for his age, naturally taking advantage of that by playing sports. He was the best basketball player my school had ever seen at least in my eleven-year-old eyes. You see, Carter wasn't your average middle school asshole athlete. He was sweet and made sure smaller, less popular kids never got picked on.

I remember the first time he ever spoke to me. I had left my English class to go to the bathroom when I clumsily bumped into him. He picked my pass up off of the floor and handed it back to me, our hands touching for more than a few seconds. He smiled at me and asked me why he'd never seen me at a game. Naturally, I asked how he knew who I was but the answer was obvious. Almost everyone knew who I was. He made some corny joke about not being able to forget a pretty face like mine and went about his day, but not before telling me I'd better be at his next game.

I ended up going and ended up in his jersey by the end of the night. Word had spread like wildfire that Serenity Taylor was wearing the Carter Montgomery's jersey. I admit the extra attention made me feel seen but it was Carter who really made my heart race. There was no Carter without Serenity and no Serenity without Carter. We did everything together, went everywhere together. My day started and ended with Carter Montgomery, he was the absolute center of my universe.

I was rather cool for my age but I couldn't stop my body's response to Carter's presence. My pupils dilated whenever I looked into his big hazelnut eyes. Even the mention of his name had my eyes wide and ears burning. My heartbeat accelerated, palms sweated. Every nerve ending in my body was electrified when his hands touched me; when he kissed me. We never did anything more than kiss, my deviance didn't begin until years later. But my heart felt like we had more, like love itself began and ended with us.

My infatuation for him ended when Carter eventually moved before I started seventh grade. He didn't keep in touch, in fact, two weeks before he left he'd acted like I hadn't existed. My heart was broken. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was an absolute wreck. Basketball had given me a sour taste in my mouth and I burned that lousy jersey that I once loved. Carter had given me my first crush, my supposed first love. He'd also given me my first gut-wrenching heartbreak, one that I hadn't been able to forget.

Why bring up the ghost of Carter Montgomery you ask? Because the memory of him always served as a warning for me. How easy it was to get lost in the idea of someone. It wasn't why dating never worked out for me but it was why I stayed more cautious. People weren't always what they seemed, Carter made me learn that quickly.

Noah wasn't what he seemed but my brain wouldn't allow me to think logically, I craved his chaos. It was all too addictive, his touch, his unpredictability. Noah was unstable, he was unreliable and unavailable but I wanted him. Wanted to make him mine, wanted to make him want me.

Did I have feelings for Noah Harrington?

I wouldn't have defined it in such simple terms. I didn't want to be his girlfriend or have him shout out from the rooftops that he had broken a rule for his assistant. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted from Noah and maybe that was the problem. I blamed him for being uncertain when he'd been honest with me from the start, I knew his intentions.

So why did I lie about mine?

"Mr. Harrington, may I come in?" I asked with two hot coffees in hand. "Yes, Ms. Taylor you may enter." A smile fell onto my lips as soon as I saw Noah sitting at his desk. Today was Friday which meant employees were allowed to wear whatever they wanted. Noah never participated which wasn't a shock. I was sure he regretted the incentive all together but kept it going because it made his employees genuinely happy.