𝑺 𝑬 𝑹 𝑬 𝑵 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 (18+)

Fifty.

S E R E N I T Y

♥

This was the part that I hated. Every time I thought about it I calculated different outcomes. Different choices we could've made, different ways to prompt a different ending. I didn't like reading books that didn't end with a happily ever after. I wanted—no needed everything to be okay. People didn't read to be reminded of reality.

People didn't want to remember that sometimes things happened for the best and not everything lasted. People read to escape, not to be reminded love wasn't linear. It was curved and sometimes it had jagged edges. Edges so sharp it left cuts deep and scarring.

But this was real. I couldn't just backspace the problems away. I couldn't change the plot and wipe away all of our problems and all of our mistakes. This was final and things were different.

But they had to happen, I see that now. I just wished it didn't have to hurt so bad.

Noah had found my replacement but it would be a few days until he would be able to be in the office. He asked me if I could stay a little while longer and I agreed just because I wanted to help him out. Besides, it was only a few days and I'd be working out of his office because mine was empty.

The worst he could do was get on my nerves. Which I was sure he would.

"Have you seen the documents from the deal with your parents? I can't seem to find them." I watched him struggle for a while before tossing him the folder. His office had been such a mess because of me and I knew it was driving him crazy.

"I hope Matt is good at his job because you're a wreck. I also hope he owns a clock."

Noah chuckled and sorted through the papers, "God forbid he brings me cold coffee."

My prayers went out to him. He took it pretty easy on me for the most part but I was easy on the eyes. Something told me he wouldn't be as forgiving with Matthew.

"Yeah, well, if things get rough he can always join me in France." I laughed but Noah just stared at me. There was a slight smirk on his face but his gaze was serious, analytic.

"And you're happy with your decision? About France that is?"

I nodded, "I am, why?"

He didn't answer the question, instead, he asked, "would you consider yourself a selfless person?" I met his gaze trying to figure him out but I couldn't. He'd never been this hard to read.

"I'd like to think I am, why?"

He sighed and walked over to me kissing my forehead with closed eyes. The kiss was long like it was a goodbye. "What would you give up?"

"What do you mean?" My stomach was in knots and my throat was becoming dry.

"To protect someone you loved, what would you give up?"

"I'd like to say everything but I don't know. I can be selfish, greedy, even spiteful. But if I had no other options, If I had to sacrifice I think I would do it. Why what's going on?"

'I was just thinking,' was his response. It was more than just a thought, it was a secret. Noah and I had a lot of those these days. They were tearing us apart and we were already hanging by a thread. Both wanting to protect each other but not knowing it was only creating distance.

I had an unfair advantage. I had nothing to lose if shit went south. Maybe I'd lose Noah, but that was about it. My heart wasn't in that business but his was. If I knew him I knew he was a masochist. He let himself indulge and now he was going to make himself pay the price. I didn't see it then, I should've seen it but I was too blinded by everything else to notice.