𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐌

31| T R E N T-U N O

ALESSANDRO'S POV
[spoiler alert: overdramatic men in the chapter ]

I couldn't feel a thing. Last thing I knew was Amelia leaving my side after this. It's not like I had a singular thing to do. She lied.

I felt a million things but one stood out, disappointment. Shock didn't even cross my path, it was way more than that. It didn't make sense to me, nor did it make sense at all.

There was no time for confession. I was able to get rid of my thoughts but not the sharp pain travelling through my body, hitting hard near my heart. The feeling I haven't felt in years and when I did, this is what I got.

The meeting went by just as planned. Everyone was brave and ready for this war. The whole room was filled with excitement, leaving the big elephant in the room. So big and so bright.

Everyone was dismissed after the three mafias signed the contract. They all rushed out of the room in cheer and laughter, leaving me alone with now Akila.

The thought of her new name made my blood boil. I wanted to just, I took a second to breathe and let my grip relax. I didn't even know what I really wanted.

But I didn't want to hear a word from her.

I raised my eyes, finally meeting hers. I looked at her coldly, as if I never met her, as if she's someone else and she is.

Her real name kept repeating in my mind, making it more difficult and more painful to even look at her eyes I once called my favorite. We were back at square one but that didn't matter to me. I trusted her with all I got and she gave me nothing.

A low voice in my head kept telling me to wait, too look further into the story. But my anger and the feeling of betrayal was way too strong to hold into something positive, something non-existent. She looked at me without giving a single care in the world. As if she hasn't been living with me for the last six months, as if my heart and feelings didn't matter to her and they never did.

Since that day, I let go of each feeling and small memories of us. I only trust once and once only. Maybe it hit me because I never expected her to do such a thing. I never expected her to be the one who made me feel that way. I believed she was someone who deserved everything, someone worth anything. But this is what I got from feeding myself this bullshit. I should have stopped, I should have shut it and listened to what's right. Yet, it's just that sometimes it's hard to pick which voice to choose. It will be alright, I knew that. Will go back to the way it was, the way it was supposed to be. She'll help me with whatever I want from her and when it's over, she gets her things and leaves this place forever. I want her to be gone as if she never existed.

It was over.

Everyday we trained. Each day and night passed by, the nine of us did nothing but work and planned out our victory against the Russians. Seeing all of us together in a room made me hope, hope for the better and hope for the future. I never doubt myself nor my men. I knew from the very beginning we got this and as long as we stay all together, will be the strongest we could ever be. The only thing left was the distance between us and Akila.

I admit that I liked it, I enjoyed her being away from me. She would show up first in the morning and leave first at night. She never stays for celebrations nor relaxing days. We didn't take days off much often yet again she never showed up.