Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 24

The first thing Tony does the next morning is check the freezer. Pepper follows him, probably under the impression that they're going to have breakfast — and they will, after he looks at the ice cream.

"You're ridiculous," she tells him.

He ignores that. He pops the top off the ice cream and pulls out the little "Fuck you" sticky note. Much like it was yesterday, it's been flipped over, and in little green letters, Loki wrote, "I'm flattered by the offer, but you're not my type."

Tony grits his teeth. "That smarmy little..."

"What did he say this time?" Pepper asks.

Tony hands her the note, and, while she's reading it, he washes the sticky ice cream remnants off his hands.

Pepper huffs a laugh. "At least he has a sense of humor."

"This is not funny," Tony says. It's annoying. It's frustrating. This guy is really pissing him off, and Tony hasn't even seen him in days.

"It's kind of funny," Pepper says, and Tony shoots her a look. Growing more serious, she says, "I'm just saying, if you're going to keep trying to piss off the genocidal god upstairs, you should be glad he's just being sarcastic."

"It's all he can do," Tony says. "His dad's got him on a leash. He can't hurt me — or anyone else, for that matter."

"I know, but I don't trust that," Pepper says. "I don't trust him. He's insane, remember? He doesn't care about consequences. I mean, he destroyed half of New York just for the hell of it. If you piss him off enough, I don't think consequences are going to stop him from getting back at you."

"He won't," Tony says. He's not interested in revenge. Anyone who's spent any amount of time with him would see that. Unfortunately, that will never include Pepper because he's not letting Loki anywhere near her, so she'll have to take his word for it.

"But what if he does?" Pepper asks. "Contrary to popular belief, you are not invincible. He could kill you."

"He won't," Tony says again. "I promise. I know what I'm doing."

"What you're doing is pissing off a god that you know has no problem with murder," Pepper says. "Just be careful with him. Don't try to piss him off anymore. The best-case scenario is that he pisses you off right back."

Tony hesitates. Taking the piss out of Loki is the only thing keeping him sane while he's stuck living with the guy. He doesn't know if he can deal with him without making his life difficult. It's fun — something he doesn't get too much of these days. More than that, though, it's rewarding. That fight in New York was traumatizing for him — and he doesn't use that word lightly. Sometimes he's still not sure he's okay. Sometimes he doesn't think he'll ever truly be okay. He knows he can never ruin Loki the way Loki ruined him, but it sure as hell makes him feel better to try.

"Please," Pepper says. "Just leave him alone."

Tony frowns. "He threw me out a window," he reminds her, though, honestly, that was probably the least traumatizing part of that fight.

"I know," Pepper says. "And I would like nothing more than to see him looking absolutely miserable here, but I don't want him to take it out on you. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."

Tony sighs. "Okay," he concedes. "I'll leave him alone, but only because I like you just a little bit more than I hate him."

Pepper smiles. "I love you, too.