Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 71

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Natasha says teasingly.

"Mm?" Loki hums.

"I think what she means to say is good afternoon," Tony says.

"Hmm."

He glances around the room, taking a look at who's beat him to the kitchen today – and it seems that the answer is everyone. Even Pepper and Rhodey are here, and though Pepper's presence doesn't surprise him, the fact that Rhodey hasn't yet left does. Although, he realizes, perhaps a bit belatedly, Steve doesn't seem to be here. That's disappointing. He's the only Avenger Loki actually enjoys spending time with, his brother excluded (sometimes).

"You just wake up?" Natasha asks.

This feels like a test. After Tony called him out last night – and with scary accuracy – he realized he has to do a lot better at pretending he's a normal person with normal, healthy sleeping habits. And, fortunately for him, he can do just that today, and he doesn't even have to lie about it.

"A few minutes ago," Loki says. He had a great night's sleep, actually. He attributes it to his good mood from the party the night before. It really was a fun time.

Natasha and Tony share a look that Loki doesn't even bother trying to decode. It's probably about their conversation last night. He really doesn't care. Right now, he wants coffee, so, ignoring whatever has everyone gathered in the kitchen like this, he goes straight to the coffee maker.

"We keep you up last night?" Natasha asks.

"No, your blaring music at all hours of the night was not at all distracting," Loki deadpans. He'd like to think he does a convincing job at pretending to be annoyed, as though he hadn't enjoyed their party immensely. Maybe this is the facade he'll choose for today. It should be easy enough. He's very good at acting annoyed, likely because he's spent much of his life being annoyed.

"Is that a Captain America mug?" Rhodey asks.

"It's a nice size," Loki says, playing up his irritability.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" Rhodey remarks.

"Not after nights like that," he grumbles.

Thor rolls his eyes. "Really, brother?"

Loki looks over his shoulder to give Thor the most annoyed look he can possibly muster. The very confused look on Bruce's face almost elicits a smile from him, but he manages to fight it back.

"Does this make now a bad time to ask you about the girl from the party?" Natasha asks.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about, nor do I care," he says.

"The girl from the party," she repeats. "We told you about her last time."

"Ah, right," Loki says, making a show of his lack of interest. "The one with the 'great boobs.'"

Bruce huffs a laugh at that.

"That's the one," Natasha says, unphased by the way he said it. "Apparently she hates you."

Loki turns around to look at her, an eyebrow raised. "Does she, now?"

"Yeah, like, a lot," Natasha says. "So, black-haired princesses who hate you: go. Start a list."

Loki shakes his head helplessly. "I haven't the slightest idea."

Natasha groans. "Come on, how many princesses are there in the Nine Realms?"

"A lot," Loki says.

Tony chimes in with, "How many princesses who hate your guts are there in the Nine Realms?"