Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 30

Rhodey looks around at the Avengers. "So, you guys do this a lot, or...?"

"Yeah, you know, once a week or so," Tony says. "It's the best kind of team bonding activity because you don't actually have to talk to anybody."

Natasha snorts. "What are you talking about? You spend the entire movie talking."

"That's true," Tony concedes, "but I make it better when I do. You're welcome."

Steve rolls his eyes, a fond smile on his lips. His commentary really does make these movie nights better, but sometimes he can go a little overboard with it.

"Hey, Steve," Tony says, and Steve looks over at him expectantly. "You should ask Loki if he wants to watch with us."

"Oh, hell no," Rhodey says immediately, and Tony bursts out laughing. "If you bring Loki out here, I'm leaving. I don't care how good this movie is supposed to be. I'm not watching it with him."

"Aw, what's the matter?" Tony asks teasingly. "Scared of the little mass murderer?"

"Yes!" Rhodey scoffs. "How is that even a question?"

"You don't have to be," Steve tells him. "He's not interested in hurting people anymore." It doesn't mean they should ask him to watch The Hunger Games with them, but it's worth noting that he's really not going to hurt anyone.

"Yeah, no, I have a very hard time believing that," Rhodey says. "Like, kudos to you guys for managing to subdue a god or whatever, but I don't trust him."

"Oh, god no," Tony says. "Don't trust him. That would be stupid. No, it's just fun to make fun of him 'cause he can't do anything about it."

"Yeah, I remember the video," Rhodey says. "Is he still that messed up?"

"No, he got better," Tony says. "Steve says he's just too scared to throw a fit because he's afraid his brother will come back."

Steve frowns. "That's not quite what I —"

"I paraphrased," Tony interrupts. "But he's completely harmless. It's hilarious. He's like a declawed cat — still got all the murderous tendencies but can't act on a single one."

"Yeah," Rhodey says, "it's the 'murderous tendencies' thing I'm worried about."

"Don't be," Tony says. "It's adorable." He looks over at Steve. "C'mon, let's go get Loki."

"No!" Rhodey says again.

"He won't come," Steve says. "He wants nothing to do with you, remember?"

"Then don't tell him we're here," Tony says like it's the obvious solution. "Pretend it's just you."

"I'm not lying to him," Steve says. He worked hard to build his trust. It's not easy with a guy who is very vocal about not trusting anyone. He's pretty sure he'd lose it all with a single lie, and he wouldn't stand a chance at ever earning it back.

"Oh, right, sorry." Tony looks over at Rhodey, "In case you couldn't tell, Loki and Steve are kinda BFFs."

"Well, to his credit," Natasha says with a teasing smile, "Loki hasn't tried to annoy him once since he got here."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Really, Nat?"

She shrugs. "That's what you told me."

"Ooh!" Tony looks between them eagerly. "So you are friends! You didn't tell me that."

"We're not," Steve says. "I don't mind talking with him, but I don't like him."

"Uh-huh." Tony leans over to Rhodey and whispers loudly, "They're totally friends."