Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 33

When Steve hears a knock at his door, he finds himself hoping it's Loki, though he's sure it's not. He's been having a hard time focusing on his book, his mind constantly drifting back to how badly he messed things up with the god. He'd naïvely hoped that with their centuries of shared experiences, Thor could speak to him on a level that Steve couldn't, but he really should have just told Thor to leave. He'd promised he would.

Without getting out of bed, Steve says, "You can come in."

Thor opens the door rather tentatively. Steve closes his book and puts it off to the side. Judging by Thor's demeanor, he has a feeling things didn't go well with Thor and Loki, and that makes him think this conversation might last a while.

"How'd it go?" Steve asks.

"I suppose it could have been worse," Thor says. "There were no attempted stabbings."

Steve forces a smile. "That's always good."

Thor just nods.

Steve swings his legs over the edge of the bed, and he gestures for Thor to join him, but Thor shakes his head.

"I didn't hear any yelling," Steve tells him. That was promising — the only promising thing about it.

"I wish he had been yelling," Thor admits. "We've yelled at each other a lot over the years. I've become fairly indifferent to it. I would prefer it to hearing him give up."

Steve furrows his brows. "'Give up'?" He's not sure he likes the sound of that.

"Essentially," Thor says. "I wish I could explain it. I'd thought he would be angry, but he was just... The word he used was 'tired.'"

"'Tired' as in he wants to go to bed?" Steve asks, confused. That's an easy fix.

"'Tired' as in tired of this," Thor says. "Tired of me. Tired of Asgard."

"And that surprises you?" Steve asks. "From what he's told me, Asgard hates him. You haven't exactly been an angel to him, either, and we haven't even heard from your family since they kicked him out, not that Loki still calls any of you family."

"I know," Thor says. "But I'd expected him to be angry about that, not..."

"Maybe he's trying to move on," Steve says. "He's on Earth now. He has the chance to forget about Asgard. I think you should let him." I've made my bed; I have to lie in it. That's what he said. He's made his peace with his punishment. He understands he has to live here on Earth and put up with the challenges it presents. That's not supposed to include Thor.

"Asgard is his home," Thor says.

"No, this is his home," Steve says. "Whether you like it or not — whether he likes it or not — this tower is his home. Asgard is nothing more than a bad memory now."

Thor just looks at him for a few moments, silent, and then he sighs. "I'm afraid I may have just made this worse."

"Well, he's not exactly making it easy," Steve says. The guy is so intent on sitting in his room and not talking to people that he literally starved himself for, what, a week? At least? Steve can't blame him for wanting to be alone, but this can't be good for him, and it's hard to help him when all he wants is to isolate himself. Steve's been trying to handle it in baby steps, striking up a small, originally reluctant friendship over the course of a couple of weeks, but that must be frustratingly slow for Thor, who clearly just wants to see the results.

"But you were doing well with him," Thor says. "And I believe I may have ruined that."

"We both kind of ruined it," Steve says. "Ultimately, it was my choice, and I knew there was a good chance it wouldn't work out. That's not your fault."